


you can't have your cake and eat it too

by ryuuseirune



Category: Pocket Monsters: Sword & Shield | Pokemon Sword & Shield Versions
Genre: Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage, Anxiety Disorder, Crushes, Domestic, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Romance, Everyone Is Gay, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Gay Hop (Pokemon), Happy Ending, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Implied Dande | Leon/Kibana | Raihan/Nezu | Piers, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Verbal Abuse, Light Angst, M/M, Marriage, Marriage of Convenience, Minor Dande | Leon/Kibana | Raihan, Mutual Pining, Pining, Romance, Schmoop, Slow Burn, Trans Beet | Bede, Trans Male Character, Trans Masaru | Victor, Transphobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-06
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:53:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 28,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23509468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ryuuseirune/pseuds/ryuuseirune
Summary: "Do you think he likes me?""Hop, he's literally your fucking husband."Hop, a 26-year-old gay man, is tired of being pestered by his parents to find a wife. When he's tricked into an omiai on his mother's birthday, it turns out to be Victor, a trans man whose parents won't stop referring to him as a woman. The two become close friends, marrying to get their parents off of their backs. Hop is happy for the company, and Victor seems to get a little brighter each day. Together, they maneuver their way through life - and accidentally fall in love while doing so.
Relationships: Hop/Masaru | Victor
Comments: 50
Kudos: 186





	1. i don't mind if it's you

**Author's Note:**

> if you've noticed that the tags have changed, then that's because I've decided to help out the fandom tag-wranglers and fix up my stuff! I have so many headcanons and feelings for this fic.
> 
> Both Hop and Victor are 26-year-olds living in Galar. They both have Kantonian heritage (because I said so). Hop is a researcher, and Victor is a college dropout who doesn't know where to go. They both have shitty parents (based off of my own experiences). This fic is primarily positive vibes, but warnings for negative thoughts will be posted above chapters that include them. I hope you can all love these two as much as I do.

“Hop, you’ll be coming home for my birthday, right?”

His mother’s voice pierces through the phone like a knife sliding through an already-open wound. Hop doesn’t want to return home: just like the year prior, it’ll be a torturous experience where his mother explains that they need to “cure his homosexuality” for four hours straight. Hop remembers his mother talking about how he needs to produce an heir since Leon’s not going to have children.

_ You need to carry on our bloodline, _ she says,  _ find a beautiful woman, marry her, and have children with her. _

But Hop doesn’t  _ like _ women – at least not like that. No matter how many times he claims he likes men, his parents never budge – they always think he can be fixed. He frowns at the memory, stirring sugar into his coffee

“I don’t know, mom,” he mumbles into the receiver hesitantly. “I’m really busy.”

“Too busy to eat your mother’s Love at First Sight chocolate cake?”

Hop can imagine his mother grinning like a witch. She’s scheming something, and he knows her too well to believe otherwise, but chocolate cake does sound really good… It has been a while since he’s treated himself to any sweet things. He’s forgone them in favor of longer-lasting energy sources, and now, he’s craving something over-the-top: a dense chocolate cake glazed with vodka.

No. He has work to do; he’s a researcher now – he has things to do and people to take care of.

And then she says the magic words:

“We’re inviting Lee, too.”

“Okay, fine,” he groans, giving in to his mother’s pleas. 

He can only hope that the conversation won’t come up.

* * *

Hop’s childhood home is the impenetrable fortress of self-hatred where he spent his youth.

He doesn’t remember this postulate until he pulls into the driveway and the gates click shut behind him. In the spot where Lee typically parks, an unfamiliar black vehicle stands. Hop knows instantly that he’s been tricked – his parents have set up a meeting with someone for him. Although he wants to put the car in reverse and speed away, his gut feeling tells him to at least let down the poor person inside – they might be looking forward to finding a partner.

Hop won’t cause confidence issues in another person. He knows what it’s like to feel like no one wants him – and his aching scars urge him out of the car and down the brick path that leads to the front door.

_ Arceus, I’m an idiot, _ Hop thinks as his finger hovers over the doorbell.  _ Why do I even care about someone who I don’t even know? _ He shouldn’t care –  _ but rejection is hard for everyone, _ a tiny voice whispers in the back of his mind. He sighs, listening to his conscience, and rings the doorbell with dread and defeat already spilling into his veins. 

The door opens just enough to allow his mother access to his wrist, dragging him into the dungeon of doom. Her long hair is placed in a low bun, and he watches her crow’s feet crinkle with a mildly malicious smile as she leads him down the hallway to the guest room.

“I’m so glad you came,” she whispers, voice hushed. “This girl is so beautiful – I’m sure she’ll cure you.”

Hop is sure that she looks amazing, but that doesn’t change the facts. He’s not attracted to people who identify as women. He just  _ can’t _ be attracted to them – it’s not like he doesn’t want to, he’s  _ tried, _ but it just doesn’t work.

He doesn’t voice his concerns – he’ll just let the unfortunate woman know when they get to speak alone. It’s an unexpected omiai, after all – they’ll be shoved into some traditional Kantonian room, where they’ll sit with their legs underneath their bottoms like  _ proper Kantonian people _ . His legs will start feeling tingly about ten minutes in but if he gets up he’ll fall on his ass – forcing him to sit seiza-style until it’s just the two of them, and then he can maybe stop crushing his dick in between his thighs if she’s cool with it.

Outside of the guest room’s sliding doors, a man and a woman, who are presumably the other party’s parents, stand ominously next to his father despite their heights. Hop’s father, an absent figure in his childhood, glances at Hop and gives the couple a proud smile.

“This is our son,” his father booms. “Hop, introduce yourself.”

Hop freezes and immediately straightens his posture. “I am called Hop. I am twenty-six years old, and I work as a researcher at Magnolia Laboratories. I am honored to be your acquaintance. Please treat me well.”

He still remembers the importance of a self-introduction – but he doesn’t know if he used Keigo properly. Luckily, the two seem to smile and step away from the door, gesturing him in.

_ Are they not coming in with me? _

That’s odd – incredibly odd. Normally, parents wouldn’t just leave their daughter with a random man – perhaps they were desperate or something? Hop suddenly feels bad for whoever’s inside. When he finally enters, he can hear his parents shuffling away with the other couple, probably walking toward the living room. He can’t remember if he’s supposed to step over the black lines of the tatami with his left foot or his right foot, and he prays that everything will turn out just right. 

He forgets just what “everything” is when he closes the screen door and turns around.

The other person looks like a  _ mess _ . Their eyes are red and puffy, as if they’ve just finished crying their eyes out – and they’re definitely  _ not _ dressed in a women’s kimono – they’re wearing a hakama. Hop feels some sort of relief – this person might be a little bit more liberal if they’re breaking gender boundaries.

_ Here goes. _

“Uh, hello,” Hop says, bowing. “I’m Hop. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Listen,” the person says quietly. “I know you want a perfect wife, and I don’t know why you wanted  _ me  _ – but you shouldn’t want me.”

Hop furrows his eyebrow.

“What are you talking about?” Hop asks.

“You’re here for a wife, right?” the person sighs, standing up. Their voice shakes violently as they spit out their next lines, rehearsed and stiff. “I can’t be a wife because I’m not even a woman – I’m a guy. I’m trans. You don’t want me. I’m sure you understand – or maybe you don’t since you organize  _ crappy omiai.” _

“I  _ did not _ organize this,” Hop frowns, crossing his arms at the accusation. “And anyway, I’m  _ gay, thank you very much.” _

“Oh,” he says, giving Hop an embarrassed smile. “Sorry.”

“So you’re not a woman. You’re a guy, and your name is…?” Hop trails off.

“Victor,” he says, extending his hand. They shake hands awkwardly, leaning over the kotatsu slightly to reach each other. “Twenty-six and currently unemployed. Just lost my job today.”

That explains the tears. “What did you do for a living? Do you need to sit? You can put your legs under the kotatsu.”

Victor slides to the floor, slumping over the table with a groan. “I worked as a waiter. What about you?”

“I’m a researcher at Magnolia Labs,” he says, taking a seat opposite Victor. Instantly, Victor’s head shoots up.

_ “What?” _

Was it that surprising?

“Dude, how old are you?” Victor asks, shocked. 

“Twenty-six,” Hop says, sipping already-lukewarm green tea. “I’ve worked there for a year.”

Victor looks horrified. “You started working at Magnolia Labs at twenty-five?”

“Is it a big deal?” Hop asks, confused.

“You’re my age and you’re making bank,” Victor stresses, staring Hop in the eye. “Are you a real person?”

“I have my ID if you don’t believe me,” Hop says, pulling out his wallet.

“No! I believe you, it’s just – holy shit,” Victor inhales, ruminating before his next words. “Please help me escape from my parents’ home.”

“Not to be rude, but why would I do that for someone I’ve just met?” Hop asks, staring at Victor in disbelief. “And why would you think I  _ could  _ help you?”

“You’re a fellow LGBTQ mid-twenties Kantonian man, and you’re living away from your parents when the rent is high in Wyndon,” Victor says, “which means you have the capability to give me a place to stay away from my transphobic parents.”

“You didn’t answer my first question,” Hop states.

“Because being roommates with a gorgeous woman,” Victor uses his hands to make quotation marks, “would make your parents think that your gayness would be cured, and they’d stop bothering you.”

_ Huh. _

“Makes sense to me,” Hop says, shrugging. “But I still don’t really know you.”

“Then get to know me,” Victor says, holding out his phone. “We can – pretend that we’re dating and exchange numbers. And we can just chat. Please.”

Hop stares into Victor’s eyes. He can’t pick out any malintent – in fact, everything about Victor’s puppy-dog gaze screams innocent to the core.  _ It must be my soft side talking, _ Hop thinks to himself, tearing his eyes away.

“Fine,” Hop says. “Only because I know what it’s like to be in a household full of people who don’t accept you.”

“Thank you,” Victor whispers.

Victor’s smile makes Hop feel like he’s done the right thing, and when they tell their parents that they’re dating, Hop is glad he can help Victor escape.

* * *

[Victor]: i really wanna get to know u better

[Victor]: come to a coffee shop with me?

[Hop]: Okay. I’m free on Friday. Wanna go to Starbucks or something?

[Victor]: hell yea which one

[Hop]: The one by my workplace at three?

[Victor]: i’m looking forward to it! 

Hop tucks his phone into his pocket and looks up to see Sonia staring down at him with a smile on her lips.

“Oh my, did Hop finally get a boyfriend?” she laughs, tilting her head. “Make sure not to get distracted from your work or I’ll have Yamper take your phone!”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” Hop huffs, turning back to the patient release forms scattered on his desk. “I’m just helping him out.”

“Suuure,” Sonia says, rolling her eyes. “By the way, can you cover for me on Thursday? Nessa’s gonna come over and I wanna take her to the movies.”

“Okay, but don’t call me in on Friday,” Hop says, signing the final approvals. “I’m going to get coffee with Victor.”

“Victor? The guy you’re “just helping”?” Sonia asks, raising an eyebrow. “Sounds like a date to me.”

“It’s not,” Hop insists, shoving the finished paperwork into Sonia’s arms. “Can you take these to the copier since you’ve already got stuff in your hands?”

“Sure,” she hums gleefully. Surprisingly, Sonia doesn’t complain – she must be excited about Nessa’s visit already. Hop smiles to himself when she trots off.

_ I wish I had someone to support me. _

Wait, what? Hop shakes his head, getting up from his desk. The idea of a relationship is absurd – he can’t even remember the last time he crushed on someone. His work takes up a lot of time, and the grueling impatience he feels when he’s pushed to fall in love bums him out. Perhaps he’s “dating” Victor – but it’s nothing serious, they’re just acquaintances trying to escape parental pressure together.

_ Forget it. You’ll be fine. _ He stumbles toward the supply room in search of agarose gel for their next electrophoresis experiment.

* * *

Friday comes faster than expected when he’s pushing himself to the limit every day and then texting Victor into the night. The crisp air and the dull atmosphere are heavy on his shoulders, but when he sees Victor bundled up in a parka and a long red scarf, relief oozes through his meridians like a lava flow. Victor’s hair is tucked into a grey beanie, where the shape of a bun is visible if he squints. 

“I ordered you black because I didn’t know what you like,” Victor laughs, sipping his… hot chocolate? 

“Right,” Hop says, plopping down across from Victor. “I like my coffee black, but I prefer lemon tea.”

“I’ll remember that for next time,” he smiles. The whipped cream and sprinkles are melting into Victor’s drink as he stirs, and Hop can’t help but stare.

“Right, so – what are we supposed to talk about?” Hop asks nervously, taking a sip of his drink. The bitterness washes down his throat, placating his nerves

“I wanted to get to know you,” Victor says. “But you can ask me something if you’re curious.”

“Your hair,” Hop blurts out. He regrets his impulsive comment when Victor’s face twists into a pained smile.

“I don’t cut it because… well, my parents think that a girl shouldn’t cut her hair unless her partner agrees.”

“That’s dumb,” Hop stumbles over his words, compensating for his earlier stupidity. “You’re not even a girl, so that doesn’t make sense, and – and that’s misogynistic.”

“Agreed,” Victor sighs into his cup. “My parents will hate you if you call me Victor. So just call me Vic, and if they deadname me, ignore it and keep calling me Vic.”

“Of course,” Hop says. “I’m not gonna deadname you behind your back.”

“That’s comforting,” Victor grins. “I haven’t even told you, so you can’t anyway.”

“I won’t even if your parents tell me, I promise,” Hop swears, tightening his grip on his coffee cup. “I’m not a dick.”

“I know you aren’t. You didn’t get mad at me when I accused you of setting us up,” Victor says quietly. “I still feel bad about that, you know. I’m sorry I assumed that of you.”

“You weren’t feeling great that day, right? You were laid off,” Hop points out. Victor nods slowly as Hop realizes, “wait, I should be the one paying for our drinks.”

“No,” Victor insists. “This is an apology from me to you.”

Hop digs through his bag to find his wallet and pulls out ten thousand Pokedollars, sliding the bill over to Victor. He doesn’t even give it a second glance before he sniffs and shoves it toward Hop. Without relenting, Hop places it next to Victor’s drink.

“I can’t accept this,” Victor hisses, shoving it back.

“You can use it for groceries,” Hop argues.

“You said it yourself back then – you don’t even know me,” Victor responds, narrowing his eyes.

“I’ve made my decision already,” Hop asserts, pressing the money into Victor’s hands. “Please, take my gift.”

“I’d feel guilty,” Victor says beneath his breath.

“Please. I want to,” Hop replies. The Tyrunt marshmallows are melting in Victor’s cup, and as if he notices Hop’s shifting gaze, Victor finally relents.

“Thank you,” Victor says. “How can I – pay you back?”

“Tell me about your hobbies?” Hop suggests.

“How is that repaying you?”

“I mean, you’re gonna be living with me eventually, so I need to know.”

“I like… watching YouTube videos, especially Let’s Plays,” Victor says. “And I draw.”

“Do you play video games, then?” Hop asks.

“No. My parents think that games are for men and children, so I’m not allowed,” Victor explains. “But I’d like to try playing Animal Crossing one day. I want to make friends with the villagers.”

“There’s a new one coming out,” Hop says. “Animal Crossing, I mean. In March.”

Victor’s face shifts from confusion to glee to sadness again, before he replies, “I don’t have any consoles, and I have no money to buy myself one.”

“If we’re following the omiai general timeline, we’ll be married by then,” Hop says before he can shut himself up. Victor gapes at him for a few moments, and the dread starts pooling in his gut like hell’s about to be set loose. Luckily, Victor doesn’t look upset in the least.

“I guess it’s inevitable,” Victor says. His expression is too mixed to pick apart, but a quiet chuckle reveals Victor’s moderate relief. “I… actually wouldn’t mind marrying you. You don’t seem terrible. Actually, I think you’re really fun to talk to.”

“Uh? Thanks? You too?”

_ What the fuck is happening? Did I just accidentally propose to a stranger? _ Hop thinks, gripping the mug so hard his knuckles turn white.

“That’ll really get our parents off our back,” Victor muses aloud. There’s not a hint of concern on Victor’s face – shouldn’t they both be more worried about  _ marriage? _ As if Victor can sense Hop’s discomfort, he finally asks, “it’ll be a legal bond, right?”

“Right!” Hop exclaims a little too fast. Endorphins rush through him at the sudden change in mood, making him a little too talkative. “Legal bond, that’s all! We’ll just be empowered roommates.”

“Sounds fun!” Victor grins. “I can’t wait to be roommates with you!”

His eyes glimmer and Hop knows his own eyes are doing the same. Hop has someone to talk with. Hop and Victor will actually be  _ roommates, _ and he can’t help but feel a shimmer starting in his chest.  _ Friendship. Roommates. _ Their upcoming marriage will be one of a nonromantic nature – just two bros being bros. The thought of a friendly marriage distracts Hop so much, his vision blurs into the shades of Victor’s red-and-white parka.

Hop somehow doesn’t regret their conversation when he returns home later that night. It’s a weird feeling, one that bubbles up and soars through his stomach like happy gas or orange cream soda – and he can’t help but smile when he thinks about how Victor will be his roommate.

It’s not like he has any plans for the future. Hop hasn’t felt love since his senior year of high school, and he doesn’t think they’ll be coming back. This arrangement with Victor will improve his boring home life and give him someone to look forward to after a long day.

His cheeks hurt from smiling too long.

* * *

“How have you been, Hop?” his mother asks.

“I’m fine,” he says. He still hasn’t gotten over his mother’s cruel trap – but he doesn’t say it out loud, quietly accepting her torment.

“Have you been talking to that girl recently?”

“Vic? Yeah, we’re dating,” Hop says calmly. Lying out loud is easier than expected, and the terrible feelings he expected to go along with the statement are surprisingly nonexistent. He can hear a muffled squeal from the other side of the phone before his mother finally responds.

“We’re so happy you’re finally getting over your homosexuality,” she says, sounding like she’s near-tears. Hop cringes, glad she can’t see him right now. 

“Right… thanks, mom,” he fibs through his teeth. It hurts – the thought of giving up something that’s a part of him  _ hurts. _ “Why did you call me again?”

“We’re thinking of inviting her over,” she replies. “We think it’s time for you two to advance your relationship.”

“Cool,” he mumbles. “We were just talking about that.”

“Great,” she says. “I’ll see you on Saturday.”

His mother hadn’t even asked if he was free that day. The dull hatred settles in his heart next to the vague memory of his first and only love. Unfortunately, it stirs up old feelings again, combusting into flames of fear and overwhelming confusion. Hop groans as the voices in his head bounce thoughts off of his hippocampus. 

_ “Why would I ever like another man?”  _

_ “That’s disgusting.” _

Hop squeezes his eyes shut and screams into his pillow as if he can relieve all the pain. On cue, his phone buzzes twice, two messages popping up on the now-illuminated screen.

[Victor]: hey wanna watch a movie with me online?

[Victor]: i can call u

Hop types out “okay” before deleting it, staring at the blinking cursor. As if Victor can telepathically sense Hop’s hesitation, he promptly calls, lighting up Hop’s room with the familiar ringtone. Hop instinctively picks up.

“Hey! Wanna watch the new Makoto Shinkai movie?” Victor asks brightly.

On the other end of the line, Hop forgets how easy it is to grow attached.

* * *

_ “What do you think about a wedding in early March?” Victor’s father inquires. The question isn’t directed at Victor, but at Hop. Frantically, Hop swallows the half-chewed rice in his mouth and smiles at Victor’s father, glancing at Victor in concern. _

_ Victor dips his head down slightly. _

_ “If Vic is okay with it, then I’m willing to get married,” Hop states bluntly. “I don’t want to do anything to make Vic uncomfortable.” _

_ “I’d love to,” Victor interrupts.  _

_ His father gives him a glare and his mother knees him underneath the table. _

_ “I mean, only if my lovely significant other would take me as his lawfully wedded partner.” _

_ “Then it’s settled.” _

_ Later that night, the two of them snicker at their unwitting parents. Their relationship is both a rebellion and a facade, and tricking their parents seems so easy when the situation is just so perfect. _

* * *

“Put on the dress,” his father commands.

“I don’t want to,” Victor mumbles on the other side of the door. 

They’ve locked him in the dressing room with his mother’s old wedding gown, a ball gown dress that sparkles in the spotlight. It’s gorgeous, sure, but it’s not Victor – Victor loves dresses, but he doesn’t want to wear a bridal dress and feed into his dysphoria. Not only would it highlight his chest and hips, but combined with his binder, he’d most likely suffocate.

Yeah. Bad idea.

“Please, Vicky,” his mother begs.

“No,” he says.

“Get Hop,” his father whispers. “He’ll agree with us.”

_ Oh, they are so, so, wrong, _ Victor smirks to himself, leaning against the single chair in the dressing room. His mother calls Hop’s name, her high heels clicking against the tile as she runs to collect him. There are a few minutes of silence before two pairs of footsteps return. 

“Hop, tell Vicky that she needs to wear the dress,” his mother pleads. Victor can almost imagine the crocodile tears pouring down her face. He rolls his eyes at the thought, crossing his arms as he waits.

“In this weather? No way,” Hop snorts. “Vic, you can just wear one of my suits. A dress will be way too hot.”

_ Poggers, mom. _ Her internal scream rocks Victor’s world, but he pretends not to hear it.

“Thank you, Hop,” Victor beams, even though Hop can’t see his face. “I knew I could count on you!”

“Your safety is important to me,” Hop explains. “Luckily, I brought a suit. I’ll help you get dressed.”

Even though the lines are practiced, Victor’s heart still flutters.

* * *

“Where’s Lee?” Hop asks. 

His mother gives him a pained look. “He wouldn’t respond to any of our mail or our messages… I’m sorry, Hop.”

“He didn’t RSVP at all?” Hop wonders. The thought is unsettling – Lee’s not one to miss his brother’s most important milestones. Hop almost wishes he’d contacted Lee himself – but there must be a reason he didn’t reply. “Well, that’s fine. Thanks for keeping the wedding small.”

“We know how difficult this has been for you,” his mother smiles. “Getting over your gayness, I mean.”

_ We are not having this conversation right now, _ his gut screams, and Hop turns on his heel.

_ Actually, we are not having this conversation ever. _

* * *

When Victor walks down the aisle dressed in Hop’s old suit, Hop can’t help but suddenly realize that their marriage is  _ real. _ Sure, they were fake-dating, but this is not a fake marriage – there’s a priest and guests and a wedding cake, all organized by Victor’s parents, who own the venue. Their wedding bands are matching – silver and simplistic, with their initials engraved on the inside.

For some reason, Hop doesn’t feel out of place. Standing in front of approximately forty guests, Victor gazes at him with a slight smile – one that suits him well. The only odd thing is Victor’s appearance – with his long hair flowing behind him, Victor doesn’t look like himself. Victor’s expression screams  _ I’m uncomfortable but because you’re here I can tolerate it, _ and Hop gives him a  _ wow-I’m-really-glad-we’re-friends-because-otherwise-this-would-be-the-worst _ look – but he doesn’t know if Victor understands when he smiles quietly.

They exchange rings wordlessly and seal it with a quick, chaste kiss. The situation is underwhelming, oddly enough, but Victor seems content. Neither has ever wanted something extravagant or fantastical. Regardless, most things remain the same. The only difference now is that Victor will be returning home with him. 

_ It’s not a big deal, so why do I feel so nervous? _

* * *

“Are you alright?” Hop asks when people begin filing out. “You don’t look very happy about this.”

The brunette looks at him as if he’s been kicked in the stomach, mouthing something. When Hop doesn’t pick out his sentences, he sighs and mumbles a few words. 

“Hair,” Victor chokes out. “My hair.”

The realization hits Hop like a truck.  _ Dysphoria, _ Hop remembers. When was the last time he cut someone else’s hair? He shuts his eyes and the image of Lee’s long locks falling to the ground after Hop’s high school graduation party reverberates through his mind.

“I’ll cut it for you,” Hop says suddenly, and Victor’s frustration turns into ashes, scattering on the wind.

“Couldn’t I just go to a barbershop?”

“I can do it myself.”

“Are you even good at styling hair?” Victor quips. Despite his hesitance, there’s no venom behind his words.

“I cut my own in college,” Hop shrugs. “Plus, no barbershop will be open when we get home tonight.”

“You want to cut my hair  _ tonight?” _ Victor gapes. “Won’t you be tired?”

“I get home later than this,” Hop huffs. “Are you worried I’ll mess it up? I’m not a terrible stylist, you know. I have to be good with my hands so I don’t wreck the expensive materials at my job.”

“That’s  _ different,” _ Victor insists. “But I’ll let you do it. I was gonna chop it off as soon as you let me anyway – it’s better that you do it yourself so I don’t get hair all over your floors.”

“Thanks for the warning; we’re definitely giving you a haircut tonight,” Hop mutters, rolling his eyes.

Victor doesn’t argue – instead, he smiles.

* * *

“Why didn’t you tell me you lived in a fucking mansion?” Victor hisses when Hop pulls up to his house.

“There are two stories,” Hop says. “It’s not a mansion.”

“It’s an exaggeration,” Victor clarifies, jumping out of Hop’s car. “You’re so tight-laced.”

Hop can’t remember whether or not he’s had this conversation with Victor before, but when Victor’s eyes widen upon entering the living room, he can’t help but snicker a little. The only reason he was able to afford this house in college was Leon – and he’s not even sure how Leon got the money. Victor flops down on the couch with a too-loud sigh, falling onto it as if it’s his own furniture.

_ Well, it is now. _

“Your house is so spacious,” Victor says, staring up at the high ceiling. “It’s so different from my place.”

Hop pulls out old newspapers from the cardboard box behind the couch, throwing them onto Victor’s lap.

“I’m gonna cut your hair now,” he says, rifling through the drawers to find barber scissors. “How are you feeling?”

“It’s pretty dumb how they didn’t want us to live together until after marriage,” Victor says. “I can’t believe I’ve never been here before, and now I’m gonna live here with you. But I don’t mind, really. It’s nice to be around you – I hope you feel the same. I’m really happy we tricked our parents into allowing this marriage – “

“Me too,” Hop says. “I really began to think of you as – a good friend.”

Victor gives him the dumbest grin he’s ever seen. “Come here so I can hug you.”

Hop can’t remember the last time he’s hugged someone who isn’t Lee or Rai, and he certainly isn’t sure he wants to. Victor’s contagious energy seems to affect him, though, and soon enough, he’s wrapped up in Victor’s embrace, resting his chin atop Victor’s head.

“I’m happy it’s you,” Hop admits. “Is that dumb of me to say?”

“Not at all,” Victor mumbles into his chest. “Can you cut my hair now?”

Hop pulls away with a chuckle and starts laying the newspaper out.

* * *

“You know, dysphoria must really suck ass,” Hop says as he sweeps up the stray strands of hair on the ground. “If you want to borrow my old clothes, I’d be willing to give you some.”

“Actually, that would be great,” Victor says meekly. “I don’t have many things that I like. When I tried coming out a year ago, my parents threw all the “boyish” clothes out. It was… pretty horrible.”

Hop’s heart sinks.

“That’s… terrible, I’m sorry,” he breathes. “I’m sorry I didn’t help you get out of there earlier.”

“No, it’s fine!” Victor says, shaking his head. “When they’re not being transphobic, they’re really great parents!”

“So, never,” Hop deadpans. 

Victor gives him a weak smile.

“Yeah,” he whispers. “How did you know?”

“I used to say that about my parents, but with homophobia,” Hop shrugs. “Listen, I’m serious about giving you the things I’ve grown out of. You don’t have to change in front of me or anything – and I can hem whatever doesn’t fit.”

“I – thank you,” Victor stammers. “Why are you being so nice?”

“I told you earlier,” Hop sighs. “We’re friends now. And you’re  _ literally _ my husband, so I should probably be nice to you if I don’t want a divorce.”

“I fucking scored with you,” Victor mutters under his breath. “Holy shit.”

“We both scored,” Hop says.

Victor isn’t sure how true that statement is, but he nods anyway.

* * *

The scent of late-night jasmine tea permeates, splendidly diffusing through the air as Hop makes his way toward Victor’s tired figure on the couch.

“Are you sleeping outside tonight?” Hop asks. “I set up a separate room for you, so don’t worry about having to sleep in the same bed as me. I wouldn’t force you to do anything you don’t want.“

“Sounds good to me,” Victor hums, taking the mug into his hands. A tiny light flickers on inside his head and suddenly, a stray thought tumbles out of his exhausted filter – 

“What if I want to sleep next to you?”

Panic curls in his chest, spreading adrenaline through his veins almost instantaneously. Victor feels his legs tense and his body screaming at him to  _ run _ – but the lack of reaction from Hop makes him stay as he realizes that  _ Hop doesn’t mind. _

“You don’t want to. I snore.”

Or that. Okay, that works too.

“Great, I’ll sleep separately from you then,” Victor yawns. “I’m exhausted.”

“Wait,” Hop says. “I wanted to ask you something.”

“Go for it.”

“What will we do now that we’re married?”

Victor pauses to ponder the question.

“We could play video games together?”

“Sounds great.”

* * *

Hop has a bad habit of waking up at six in the morning no matter what day it is. 

He knows that he could sleep in on his days off, but he just can’t – his circadian cycle demands he wake up and make himself a good breakfast. It’s the same for the day after their wedding – Hop is ostensibly pooped, and he should be laying in bed relaxing. His legs swing off the bed against his will, carrying him to the kitchen.

Since he’s up, he might as well eat something.

Hop rifles through his mostly-empty refrigerator and remembers that his Cinderace is a piece of crap who eats all the vegetables only halfway through. There are only eggs and meat products left on the shelves.  _ I guess it’s an omelet again today, _ he thinks to himself.  _ I really need to get childproof locks. _

He pulls out two fresh eggs before he remembers that there’s a second person in his household today (and for the foreseeable future). 

“Fuck,” Hop groans, pulling out another two eggs. “Is this even enough? Should I just make crepes and pray that the milk hasn’t expired?”

Dubwool glares at him from the laundry room, sleeping on the  _ recently cleaned towels. _

“Are you kidding me, Dubwool,” Hop sighs. “You know I’ll have to wash those again.”

The sheep pokemon bleats, looking at him with those  _ adorable eyes. _

“When summer comes, you are getting sheared,” he mutters, turning back to the pan. Sure, Dubwool actually prefers having its coat shaved, but in the cold Galarian winters, Hop won’t risk his  _ friend  _ freezing to its untimely death if the heater fails.

Mindlessly, Hop prepares crepes with chocolate sauce and chocolate chips, enough for the two of them. He keeps telling himself he’s making breakfast for Victor as a welcoming gift, but he doesn’t even know if Victor  _ likes _ crepes – he didn’t like Starbucks hot chocolate, he reminds himself, hesitating before Victor’s bedroom door.

Ah, fuck it.

Hop struggles with the doorknob while holding a tray in his hands, balancing the two plates carefully as he steps inside. The rustling startles Victor awake, making him groan and rub at his eyes. The man sits up slowly, stretching upwards.

“Hop? Why are you awake so early –  _ oh, that smells delicious,” _ he groans, shaking his grogginess away. “Did you make food for me?”

“Yeah,” Hop says. “I thought – you might want to eat something too. Sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing?” Victor asks as Hop places the tray over Victor’s lap. As the plates come into focus, his eyes widen. “Oh. Did you make  _ crepes? _ These look amazing.”

“You’re gonna give me a complex,” Hop laughs. “Yes, I made you breakfast. You’re not allergic to eggs or dairy, are you?”

“No,” Victor says, “but I think I might be allergic to your kindness. I might just die from this sweetness.”

Hop rolls his eyes. “I could eat both of these by myself, you know.”

“Noooo,” Victor whines, pulling one plate toward him. “I want one. Eat with me.”

He plops down next to Victor, taking the other plate off the tray. “Good morning, by the way.”

“Good morning!” Victor replies, already sliding a piece of the sweet breakfast-dessert into his mouth. Hop watches as Victor savors the flavors of the crepe, chewing his meal slowly. “This is… really good. Wow.”

“Thanks,” Hop says. “I’m glad you liked it.”

“You’re surprisingly good at cooking,” Victor notes. “You’re like, a perfect husband.”

“I think my eyes are gonna fall out if I keep rolling them so much,” Hop groans.

“But seriously, I mean it,” Victor insists. “Thank you for the food.”

“It’s not an issue,” Hop says, but his heart flutters like he has a schoolboy crush

Before he knows it, he’s offering to make Victor food the next day, too.

* * *

Hop buys Victor an Animal Crossing New Horizons Switch.

Sure, he already owns a Nintendo Switch himself – it’s Wooloo themed, with white joycons and Wooloo’s unassuming face on the back. Hop’s excuse for his purchase is that  _ Victor _ has never played an Animal Crossing game before – or any video game, for that matter, which is a crime perpetrated by Victor’s parents – and Hop will introduce Victor to the gaming world.

Or at least, the gaming world where he gets to actually  _ play _ games.

When the order comes in alongside two copies of Animal Crossing New Horizons and Victor discovers it in their shared mail the evening of release, he cries like he’s never seen anything more beautiful in his life. He calls Hop  _ bawling, _ asking if the gift is for him, and of course, Hop says  _ Victor, I literally have my own Nintendo Switch; I bought this for you. _

Victor starts crying even harder through the phone and Hop’s ready to drop everything and speed home before Victor starts whispering  _ thank you, thank you, thank you _ like it’s his new favorite mantra.

“You didn’t have to get this for me,” Victor wails, his voice loud and evidently shaking through the phone.

“I did it because I want to play a game with my good friend,” Hop answers. “Happy birthday, Victor.”

“You remembered – you remembered,” Victor sobs. “I’m gonna give you so many hugs when you get home.”

“Why would I forget? It’s literally the same day as the Animal Crossing release date –”

“I’m so happy,” Victor says. “Thank you. Really.”

Hop’s heartbeat sounds so loud that he worries Victor can hear it.

“It’s no problem.”

* * *

“This is the most fun I’ve ever had in my life,” Victor says, wiping the tears from his eyes.

“I’d say you’re overexaggerating,” Bede grunts over their Discord call, “but you had a pretty shitty home life, so maybe not.”

“I mean, you’re not  _ wrong,” _ Victor says. “But hey, you guys are fun to play with.”

“We’re literally just spinnin’ in circles and whackin’ each other with nets,” Marnie mutters. Victor can imagine her pouting as she sits in front of her dual monitor screen, using her pro controllers to dance around everyone.

“I personally find that hitting Bede in the head gives me great satisfaction,” Hop mutters from next to Victor, their backs pressed to each other. 

“Agreed. Someone’s gotta teach him that being a dick has consequences,” Victor grins, resting his head on Hop’s shoulder.

Just when did they get so  _ close? _ Hop can’t remember when Victor first began spending so much time with him. He sneaks a glance at Victor’s face, just to see those taunting hazel eyes glint back at him. Any eye color other than deep brown is uncommon for Kantonian natives, and Hop suddenly comes up with a new conversation topic.

“Are you Galarian?” Hop asks Victor. “Your eyes are hazel.”

“A fourth,” Victor replies. “And you?”

“Me too.”

“What a coincidence,” Bede groans. “The two married men are in a relationship with someone so extremely similar to them and they can’t even tell. It’s almost as if you two don’t even know each other.”

Hop cringes.  _ Is he always like this? Why is he friends with Vic? _

“Shut up, Bede,” Marnie says, already bored with the conversation. “Look how many weeds I have.”

Marnie posts an image in the general chat. She has five stacks of 99 weeds, which is quite impressive – Hop only has about three stacks of weeds from his initial island. He hasn’t unlocked the cliff areas yet, because he’s on his second day, but Marnie hasn’t either – unless she timeskips. Her inventory lacks a ladder – so Hop assumes she’s legitimately playing.

“Too much,” Victor giggles. “I have exactly 420 weeds in my inventory.” 

“That’s the dumbest thing I’ve heard,” Bede huffs. “You’re supposed to  _ sell _ your weeds to Timmy for Bells.”

“Selling weeds? Illegal,” Hop says sarcastically. “Plus, you can make hula skirts out of it!”

“Do I look like I’m Alolan?” Bede snaps. His words are unnecessarily harsh, shallowly digging into his skin.

“Bede, chill,” Victor frowns. “You need to remember that you can’t act so familiarly with people you don’t know.”

Victor’s intervention calms Bede down considerably.

“Sorry,” he says softly, like a tamed wolf. “I forget sometimes.”

Hop mouths a “thank you” to Victor and is met with an awkward side-hug. Victor’s switch clacks against Hop’s, mint green and blue against Wooloo white. For some reason, the color combination soothes Hop’s soul, pulling at the depths of his memory. 

When Victor pulls away, Hop feels empty, and he doesn’t know why.

* * *

Victor hasn’t been coming out of his room this past week.

Sure, he’s a grown adult who can take care of himself – but he wakes up at five just to sit in bed and play Animal Crossing until Hop brings him breakfast. While Hop’s at work, he wonders if Victor’s doing anything. When he returns home, Victor’s still laying down in his pajamas, catching bugs in Animal Crossing. 

“If you don’t do anything, you’ll get a blood clot and die,” Hop says after the fifth day. “Let’s exercise together.”

Victor presses the minus button on his left controller and looks up at Hop with a faux frown on his lips. “But I don’t wanna. Exercise is too hard.”

“Let’s take a walk together,” Hop suggests. “Just a short one. Plus, our Pokemon need exercise too.”

That seems to motivate the other man. He rolls out of bed, reaching for his Poke Balls. An Inteleon and a Sobble pop out, observing their new surroundings. The other four capsules stay unopened on the nightstand, but Victor fastens them to his belt.

“I’ll… wait outside so you can change,” Hop says, leaving the room promptly.

It doesn’t take Victor long to emerge in a red sweater, pants, and that familiar beanie – but he’s clutching his stomach with a guilty smile.

“Are you hungry?” Hop asks. “You didn’t eat lunch, did you?”

“No,” Victor admits. “Sorry.”

“Sit at the table,” Hop says. “I’ll cut you some fruit.”

* * *

“These are delicious,” Victor says softly after sinking his teeth into a nectarine.

“I know,” Hop says, watching him as he eats.

“You know, I feel guilty that you’re just watching me,” Victor says, gesturing toward the bowl. “I don’t think I can eat all of this anyway. Can you help me?”

Hop stares at the plastic container. All the pieces of melon and mango have disappeared, but heaps of pineapple remain – and the fruits adjacent to the pineapple slices remain untouched. It doesn’t take a genius to understand that Victor doesn’t care much for the sour yellow fruit – so Hop picks out the pieces of pineapple as Victor nibbles on the chunks of cantaloupe.

“I forgot to thank you,” Victor says, disrupting the silence. “I really appreciate that you’re making me go out and do things.”

“I just wanted to check up on you,” Hop insists, averting his gaze to his lap.

Victor’s laugh sounds like wedding bells.

* * *

“Why do you get all the good fish?”

“It’s because you always reel your line in too early,” Hop snorts, whacking Victor with his star-shaped net. 

“I can’t help it! They’re supposed to take the bait on the third bite but they don’t and it’s throwing me off,” Victor complains, rolling onto his side. He dives under Hop’s arm and nestles his head on Hop’s chest, watching as Hop darts back to the river mouth and casts his line. 

“Victor, I’m gonna catch a sturgeon right now,” Hop says. “Watch and learn.”

Hop’s hands don’t flinch when the sturgeon doesn’t bite. Plink, plink, plink – there’s a long hesitation – plink. Victor’s amazed when Hop doesn’t reel the line in – the hesitation signals that the fish will bite, right? Victor stares wide-eyed as the shadow finally takes the bait with a loud plonk. Hop’s character has a blank, joyous grin on its face as the too-large sturgeon leaps out of the water.

“You make it look easy!” Victor whines. “Can you catch one for me, please? I can’t do it at all.”

Hop sighs and pulls Victor’s Switch out of his lithe hands. He throws whatever fish bait Victor has into the water and almost instantly, the largest size of fish appears on screen.

“You’re a fishing master,” Victor giggles, the vibrations of his laugh fizzling into Hop’s chest.

“Just lucky, I guess,” Hop grins, and catches the sturgeon with ease.

“Do it again!” Victor cheers. “I want a model from CJ and Flick!”

“Learn how to do it yourself,” Hop laughs, shoving the console back into Victor’s hands. The smaller man pouts up at him and Hop’s heart twists. White-hot heat courses through his veins like he’s on his fifty-third mile in a marathon, and Hop visibly stiffens, turning away.

“Please,” Victor begs. “I’ll catch wasps for you. I’m really good at it.”

“Fine,” Hop says. “Don’t get stung.”

When Victor’s frown turns into an effervescent smile, Hop’s lungs burn like he’s having an allergic reaction.

* * *

Hop’s next day off is spent in Victor’s room as they play with Bede and Marnie. This time, he gets to see Victor’s college buddies in person.

_ Bede is still a dick, though, _ he thinks, watching as Victor leans into the other man’s chest. For some reason, Hop feels tense all over. The awkward feeling in his chest bubbles whenever he glances toward their interesting seating arrangement. Bede’s hands linger on Victor’s waist as the brunette squirms in his lap. Victor settles into a position where Bede’s chin rests on Victor’s head and Hop feels like something snapped inside of him.

Earlier that day, Bede hadn’t been the kindest to him. Far from it, actually – implying that Hop was only there because he could support Victor financially. He mulls over the words in his head as he sprints through Victor’s in-game museum alone.

_ “Are you just mad because it’s true?” Bede croons, giving him a sly smile. “We all know you’re in an arranged marriage. You’re just someone to mooch off of.” _

_ “Bede, stop it,” Victor frowns, batting his arm. “Hop is my friend too.” _

_ “Sure, sure,” Bede sighs, giving Hop a knowing look. _

Now Bede’s  _ smirking at him _ with a cat-like grin, narrow-eyed and all-too-triumphant. Victor, of course, is clueless as he rambles on about some clothes he’s wearing in-game, ignorant to whatever shit Bede is trying to pull. Hop turns back to the coelacanth he caught, now floating in Victor’s aquarium. It’s hardly a distraction. Something about Bede’s cheeky, toothy smile just makes Hop want to sock Bede in the face.

Admittedly, Hop doesn’t know  _ why _ it upsets him. Sure, he and Victor are married, but only legally – there’s no love nor feelings in their relationship, nothing but pure, innocent friendship. They’re only married to escape their shitty parents and maybe live a normal life until they eventually divorce.

_ Divorce, huh. _ For some reason, the thought bothers him – but he brushes it away and turns back to fooling around in the fossil section of Victor’s museum. They’re not a couple built to last, really – but Hop doesn’t want their friendship to end.  _ Even if we’re not married anymore, we can still live together, _ he reminds himself.

“You look tense,” Marnie says. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” Hop says. “Actually, I’m a little hungry. I’ll go cut some fruit for us.”

As he scrambles to his feet, Victor smiles at him from Bede’s embrace. 

* * *

The thought has been stewing in his brain for far too long – and one day, it just comes out. 

“What’s your relationship with Bede?” Hop asks over a bowl of mango.

“What?” Victor snorts. “Are you interested in dating him or something?”

“No way!” Hop exclaims, offended. “He’s such an ass.”

“He kinda is,” Victor laughs, wiping the stickiness off his fingers. “But he’s also a good friend of mine. In college, he supported me when I came out – and that was really important to me. He was kinda like a mentor in some ways.”

“A mentor?” Hop echoes.

“Oh! He’s trans too,” Victor explains, chucking his napkin into the trash. “We’ve always been close, though. I could never like him as anything more than a brother. Why did you want to know, anyway?”

“I mean – you two seemed pretty close, that’s all,” Hop says, fiddling with his hair.

“Well, since you’ve asked me something so personal,” Victor says, resting his elbows on the table, “can I ask you something, too?”

“Go for it.”

“Do you feel like I’m freeloading?”

Hop doesn’t have to think. “Of course not. You’re my husband.”

“You didn’t really have a choice, though,” Victor points out. “I feel bad that I’m not contributing financially.”

Hop isn’t sure what to say, but Victor looks bitter and it  _ burns. _ It’s like a thousand Cacturne have fallen onto him, or perhaps a Pyukumuku vomited all over his best shirt. Victor’s face, contorted into something strange, something unfamiliar – Hop isn’t sure how to decipher it.

“Do you regret it?”

His voice comes out small, and Victor’s eyes widen as he stumbles backwards over his words.

“No, Hop, I would never – no!” Victor shakes his head and takes a deep breath. “I don’t regret it at all – is that weird?”

Without thinking, Hop speaks.

“No. I don’t regret it either. I’m happy it’s you.”

Victor looks like he’s just eaten the most delicious mango in his entire life. It’s dumb, sure – but Hop isn’t sure how to describe the way Victor smiles so brightly. The luminescence makes Hop’s heart feel like it’s about to burst, brimming with affection and warmth and so much –

Adoration.

It’s the first time Hop realizes that he might have a  _ tiny  _ crush.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you liked reading this lmk in the comments and I will continue it because I have six other chapters planned. otherwise this goes in the scrap bin with the rest of my hopvic fanshits as a terrible unfinished oneshot that I posted! thank you for reading as usual
> 
> update: thanks to popular demand, I will be continuing this fic. look forward to more in the future!


	2. brotherly advice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the delayed update, everyone! make sure to subscribe if you want to get notified whenever I update. I'm very grateful so many people commented on the last chapter.

“When will I be getting grandchildren?”

_ “Never,” _ Hop wants to reply. He doesn’t, though – if only to save himself from his mother’s hour-long lectures. Instead, he settles for an incoherent arrangement of words and some deflection. Her dissatisfaction is evident in the tone of her voice; bitter like raw dandelion greens freshly picked from the garden of resentment she maintains.

“I don’t think we’ll be having children for a while,” Hop eventually stutters out. 

The sigh that comes from the other end is  _ definitely _ not a good sign.

“You know the saying about the Christmas cake, don’t you?” she drawls. 

“Not really,” he mumbles.

Hop is not ready for the misogynistic bullshit that pours out of her mouth like some sort of Muk-induced toxin.

“An unmarried woman is like a Christmas cake – each day after the 25th, she becomes less desirable. You’ve bought the cake, but you haven’t eaten it yet. The longer you wait, the less you’ll want to do it.”

White-hot anger inundates him, frustration prickling at his skin. There are so many things wrong with his mother’s statement that he can’t even begin to pick it apart. Victor is not a  _ cake. _ Victor is a person, one with desires, hopes, and dreams that are different from his own. Victor isn’t something to be consumed like a dessert, and he certainly won’t expire. Victor is –

“Hop?”

He takes a deep breath.

“Don’t call me about such trivial matters.”

* * *

“Arceus, Hop, I know you’re miserable but don’t fucking drink formaldehyde in my lab,” Sonia says, prying the bottle out of his hands. “Pay attention to what you’re picking up before you drink it.”

“Oh,” Hop says. He hadn’t even noticed that he’d picked up the wrong bottle. Sonia rolls her eyes at him with almost enough annoyance to throw them right off her face, and Hop wants to shrivel up like an empty Poke Ball.

“You’re distracted, Hop,” she offers, pointing out the obvious. “You dropped that petri dish earlier, too. Normally, you’re not like this – what’s wrong?”

Hop thinks of the Amoongus spores scattered on the floor and wants to throttle himself for his carelessness.

“I just… don’t know,” Hop sighs. Sonia narrows her eyes at him as if she can see straight through the half-lie, and Hop stuffs his hands into the pockets of his slacks. “You know how I got married recently, right?”

“I was there,” Sonia points out.

“Well, you know how I’m also gay, right?”

“I’ve known you for twelve years, Hop.”

“Well, my husband is trans but he’s not out yet,” Hop explains.

“Go on.”

“And our parents really want us to have kids together, but I don’t think I want kids – and I don’t know if Victor is comfortable with it anyway, and I really don’t want to make him upset for bringing it up when it’s not something I want, but what if he does want it –”

“Ask him,” Sonia says nonchalantly. “Talk it out.”

“We’re not even romantically involved, though,” Hop rambles. “He doesn’t even like me like that.”

“Do you like him?” Sonia asks.

_ “What?” _

“Have you ever  _ thought _ about liking him?” Sonia rephrases. “I’m like, not a love expert or anything, but I mean, you’re literally married.”

“Marriage is just a legal bond,” Hop insists. “It has nothing to do with love. It’s just for tax purposes and to appease our parents.”

“You know that’s not true,” his mentor sighs, shaking her head. “From the way I’ve seen you smile at your phone, I’d say it’s a bit more than that.”

On cue, Rotom’s shrill voice rings through the room, playing the special ringtone set for Victor’s texts.

“It’s just a crush,” Hop maintains. “It’ll go away sooner or later.”

“Regardless, you need to go home and talk to him,” Sonia says. “You’re clearly not in the right mindset to be working right now, and the last thing I want is to lose my best worker in an accident.”

Hop reluctantly heads home, but only after Sonia promises they have enough hands on deck to complete their current project.

* * *

“You’re home late,” Victor comments when Hop stumbles into his bedroom.

The analog wall clock reads half-past eight. Hop nearly feels guilty for staying at the local Skitty cafe instead of coming home to talk to Victor. Even after four hours, Hop still hasn’t found the right words to say. Luckily, Victor never expects anything much – Hop doesn’t need to explain his prolonged absence.

The brunette is wearing one of his old tees from college and a pair of basketball shorts that are a little bit too baggy. Somehow, Hop finds Victor’s style of dress endearing – after all, Victor is wearing his clothes. It almost seems like a boyfriend shirt on the smaller boy’s frame – until Hop reminds himself that this is not the time to be thinking about Victor’s looks, no matter how adorable he is.

“Yeah, I – kinda had something I wanted to ask you about, and it was distracting me all day,” Hop says, throwing his lab coat onto the floor. Taking a few strides toward the bed, Hop jumps in right next to Victor. 

“Oh?” Victor hums. “Well, what’s up?”

“My mom called,” Hop says.

Victor’s face falls. “Oh.”

“She wants us to have children together, but I – wanted to ask your opinion on it before we gave her a response.”

“I see,” Victor says quietly. “I mean, I’m okay with it, but I’m not really interested in having children myself right now, and like, I also don’t feel comfortable with – you know, my body, and being pregnant wouldn’t help at all.”

Hop lets out a sigh of relief. “Okay, good. I don’t really want kids either. Like, not that I hate kids. I just don’t know if I’m ready for that responsibility.”

“I mean, I’m not either,” Victor shrugs. 

“Sorry,” Hop mumbles.

“For what?” Victor asks. “You haven’t done anything wrong.”

“For bringing it up.”

Victor laughs. “Honestly? It was inevitable. Don’t sweat it. If you really wanna apologize, you should help me catch these fish instead.”

When Victor passes his Switch to Hop, their hands brush ever so slightly. Hop’s heart swells with unmistakable affection – and he doesn’t understand why. Victor doesn’t seem fazed at all – why would he be, anyway – but Hop feels like he’s been hit by a bus going 150 lightyears per second.

He shakes the feeling off and rushes to the nearest water source in-game, brushing past Marina as he sprints. Victor’s given all of his villagers an instant-muscles suit – and Marina just so happens to be wearing hers. The poor pink octopus is uncomfortably buff and the fake inflatable biceps make Hop want to run to Isabelle and get the outfit removed. He doesn’t, though – because Victor thinks it’s funny, and it kind of is, if not a bit odd.

There aren’t really any significant fish that appear in May – none of the sharks show up until June. Hop doesn’t know the list by heart, but he’s half-sure that there are two new fish in the pier area – and they’re probably the reason why Victor has 12 stacks of fish bait in his inventory. It doesn’t take long for Hop to go through half of them – and of course, all he’s catching are sea bass. He prays that the next size five shadow is at least a trevally while Victor rests his head on Hop’s shoulder.

“How rare are these fish?” Victor asks.

“I went through like 250 bait before I got them all,” Hop says. Victor sighs in disappointment as Hop casts his line, watching the fish nibble at the bobber intermittently. For a moment, everything freezes when Hop presses A – they watch the fish struggle in a circular motion before its blue-green body surfaces, cascading in an arch into the player character’s hands.

“Holy shit, you did it!” Victor exclaims. He’s so excited over a fish that they can’t even eat, but Hop finds it kind of cute – the way Victor beams at him like he’s the best Animal Crossing fisherman in the entire world, praising him and coddling him like he’s heaven-sent.

“It’s no big deal,” Hop smiles sheepishly. Victor shakes his head and wraps his arms around Hop’s chest.

“Thank youuu,” Victor says. “You’re so good at this, you know that?”

“I’m not,” Hop insists.

Victor pouts.

Arceus, who gave the right to make him so  _ adorable? _

“Oh! I forgot!” Victor interrupts his train of thought. “I sent you something in the mail earlier. Did you see?”

“I didn’t check it yet,” Hop says, fumbling for his bag. “I’ll do that now.”

He boots up his Switch, going through Isabelle’s announcements lazily. She prattles on about her TV habits once more – and Hop smiles at her remarks. When the cutscene is over, Hop’s character exits his house, the pinging of the mailbox sounding loud through the room. Victor’s already immersed in his own game – probably donating his freshly caught mahi-mahi to the museum. Hop glances down at Victor’s letter, sent on a bright pink card with a gigantic heart in the middle. The message contains a DIY recipe for coconut juice – perfect timing for the changing season.

And at the very bottom of the postcard, two significant words stand out.

_ “Love, Victor.” _

Hop’s heart skips a beat – he knows that the default closing reads “from” and not “love” – which means Victor has edited it himself.  _ Specifically _ for Hop. He knows that it’s a terrible assumption – that just because Victor’s virtually signed a letter with a fond word doesn’t mean Victor  _ likes _ him romantically. 

But he  _ wants _ it to mean Victor likes him.

Sure, it’s a dumb thought – and Hop doesn’t deserve him, really. Victor likely hasn’t even thought of him – there’s nothing appealing about someone as boring as he is. There are so many wonderful people in Victor’s life – and Hop is just  _ Hop _ , he’s just helping Victor escape as a friend – nothing more, nothing less. And what kind of person would he be if he took advantage of Victor’s trust and companionship? Victor didn’t need another thing to worry about – much less Hop’s feelings.

“Hop?”

He blinks. Victor waves a hand in front of his eyes.

“You’re zoning out,” Victor says, stating the obvious.

“Ah, sorry,” he smiles. Despite the weight in his chest, the fake grin is an easy mask to apply. “What were you saying?”

“Can I just sleep here?” Victor asks, curling up next to Hop. “I know this is technically your bedroom, but I’m too tired to move back to mine.”

“Sure,” Hop says. He’ll just move to Victor’s bedroom instead. He throws his legs over the side of the bed, ready to leave. Victor looks at him funny.

“Where are you going?” he asks. 

_ Does Victor want him to sleep in the same bed? _

“Uh – shower,” Hop stutters out. “I’ll be back?”

“Yeah,” Victor says, the corners of his lips perking up into a soft smile. “I’ll wait here.”

As water hits his back, Hop realizes he can hardly understand his own emotions – is he even allowed to fall for Victor? Nothing quite makes sense – Victor had actually  _ expected _ Hop to stay and sleep next to him. Comprehending that concept is impossible for Hop – and yet it’s the reality of the situation.

_ “God, I just hope I can keep my hormones under control,” _ Hop thinks as he steps out of the shower. Sure, he’s not a thirsty teenager anymore – but when was the last time he’d actually laid next to someone? Hop mulls over his worries as he frantically dries his hair with a towel.  _ “Ah, whatever. It’ll be fine, right?” _

Wrong.

Victor lays sprawled out on the bed, only illuminated by the bathroom light. For some reason, he looks divine – his sharp jawline; his concealer-free face, peppered with freckles; his luscious chocolate locks, well-conditioned but slightly messy; and his faint smile – everything about Victor emits a seraphic radiance in Hop’s eyes.

_ “Stop it, Hop,” _ he thinks to himself as he climbs under the blankets.  _ “He doesn’t even like you like that.” _

Is he even allowed to love someone so, so bright? Hop has been jaded for so long – he gave up on love so long ago, opting to focus on his career instead. His parents would have never let him marry a man under normal circumstances, and yet he’s somehow found himself in the right situation with someone so brilliant and warm that Hop feels drab in comparison.

He glances over at Victor’s dozing face – which of course, has to look handsome and adorable all at once. Hop is falling in love – and he loathes it. There’s only one person he knows to ask for advice – but would they even respond?

He’d try in the morning.

* * *

Hop’s hand hovers over the call button reluctantly – is it really a good idea to ask Lee for advice? Victor is still in his bedroom, within earshot of Hop’s location. Victor will hear anything Hop says – which is not good if Hop is talking about Victor.

His thumb slips and hits the button, and he curses himself. Of course, Lee picks up instantly.

“Yo, Hop!” Lee greets him with too much vigor for Saturday at eight in the morning. “How’s my little bro doing?”

“Hey,” Hop says. “Uh, are you free right now?”

“Yeah, wanna come over?” Lee asks. “It’s been a while.”

“Like, right now?” Hop responds incredulously.

“Whenever you’re ready. Rai and I are free the whole day – just let me know when you’re coming over.”

“I’m heading there now,” Hop says without thinking.

* * *

Lee greets him at the door with a gigantic grin and a spring in his step. Hop can hear the whir of a kettle coming from their kitchen, and Raihan’s heavy footsteps sprinting across the room. 

“Hop! It’s great to see you!” his brother booms – his voice  _ very _ audible in the quiet suburban neighborhood. 

“It’s been a while,” Hop says, the ghost of a smile on his lips. He’s missed his older brother quite a lot – regardless of whether or not Lee’s missed him. 

“Sorry, there’s no tea yet – we just finished boiling the water, and this was kind of sudden and all – don’t just stand there, come inside,” Lee says, ushering him into the house.

Hop squints at the oddly clean interior – for some reason, there aren’t clothes strewn across the floor or empty chip bags lying on their shockingly stain-free couch. It feels out-of-place for the two roommates – too strange, he notes. The most noticeable difference is the multiple pairs of black boots lining the entrance hall – some are mid-thigh length, some are cut off at the heel, but all have shining silver appliques. It’s so different from Lee’s and Raihan’s styles – but it has been half a year since his last visit. Perhaps Raihan just likes wearing fashionable shoes now, or he’s actually gotten style tips from someone. Hop shakes it off, trailing behind Lee into their living room.

“Take a seat,” Lee offers. Hop cautiously sinks into the couch – everything about this house just seems so  _ unfamiliar, _ even if he’s been here a million times before.

Raihan clamors into the living room with three teacups and a kettle on a tray. With such long legs, Hop is amazed that Raihan doesn’t trip and fall on the floor. He sets their beverages on the tea table between Hop and Lee, and in a single stride, he’s next to his roommate, resting his elbow on Lee’s shoulder.

“Yo, Hopscotch,” Raihan winks. “Long time no see. I thought I scared you off for a while.”

Hop reaches for the cup placed in front of him, wrapping his hand around the handle firmly before he brings the drink to his mouth. They’ve chosen earl grey – one of Lee’s favorites, he remembers. With just a hint of citrus, it’s one of Hop’s favorite teas – after bergamot, of course.

“You’re like, the least intimidating person ever,” Hop jokes back. Raihan huffs in fake annoyance, straightening up.

“You say that, but you’re practically a baby compared to us,” Raihan teases. “Anyway, I’m gonna go make us lunch, so you brothers can chit-chat in private.”

“Thanks, Rai,” Lee says, grinning up at him.

“It’s no problem,” he says, sauntering back toward the kitchen. Lee waits for a few seconds before he clears his throat, raising an eyebrow at his little brother.

“You’re wearing that ring on the wrong hand, you know,” Lee says, “people will think you’re married.”

“I  _ am _ married.”

Lee nearly spits out his tea.

“What? Since when?” he exclaims, placing his cup down onto the table with a clatter.

“Early March. Didn’t Mom tell you?” Hop asks, confused. “You were invited, you know.”

“I  _ blocked _ Mom. On everything,” Lee groans. “Fuck, did I not tell you? I went no-contact with her and Dad.“

“Oh,” Hop says. Lee’s absence during his wedding suddenly makes sense – and he can’t really blame Lee for cutting them off when he’s thought about it a trillion times.

“Yeah, I mean, I didn’t even know you were dating someone,” Lee sighs, his shoulders slumping. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“We didn’t really date,” Hop shrugs.

“Wait – you went through with an omiai?” Leon nearly shouts, his eyes nearly boggling.

“It’s not a romantic marriage,” he says. “We – got married for other reasons.”

“Like what?”

“He’s trans and his parents kept misgendering him and I’m gay and I don’t even like women so when we were set up it was kind of funny and then we joked about getting married to spite our parents and now we’re actually legally married?”

“You’re gay?” Lee asks. It’s such an odd thing to pick out from Hop’s ramblings – but he does it anyway, and Hop feels his train of thought freeze.

“Well, yes,” Hop stutters. “I thought you knew – wait, that’s not an issue with you, right?”

His brother starts chuckling.

“What’s so funny?”

“Hop,  _ I’ve been dating Raihan for ten years,” _ Lee wheezes. “Of course it’s not an issue.”

_ “Ten years?” _ Hop suddenly feels like a fool. It makes sense – there’s not really a reason for two relatively popular, affluent men to live in a quiet suburban household together for many years when they could easily afford to live separately.

Unless they were gay.

“I mean – you’ve never been in a relationship before, so I’m not too surprised you  _ weren’t _ aware,” Lee laughs. “But like, I thought you knew and just didn’t care.”

“You didn’t  _ tell _ me,” Hop whines.

“He has his hand on my ass like, half the time – “

_ “I don’t want to think about that.” _

Luckily, Raihan waltzes in at the right moment – and Hop has never been happier to see him. 

“I’ve got lunch,” he calls. “Tuna sandwiches, because I’m lazy.”

The three of them gather at the dining table just a few paces from the living room – and honestly, eating such a simple meal in such a spectacular home feels  _ weird. _ It definitely feels like he’s interrupting their time together – but there’s not much he can do about it unless he wants to leave halfway through his visit.

“So, what did you want to talk about?” Lee says nonchalantly. 

“I think I have a crush on my husband, but I’m not sure,” Hop admits.

Raihan  _ loses it _ at Hop’s statement, bursting into giggles.

“He’s your  _ husband, _ how can you not?” Raihan snickers. “You’re literally married.”

“But – it’s not  _ romantic,” _ Hop groans, burying his head into his hands. 

“How are you married if he doesn’t love you?” Raihan asks, confused.

“He did an omiai thing,” Lee says.

“Oh,” Raihan says, humming softly to himself in thought. “But you guys were still friends, right? So there’s still room for feelings.”

“I don’t even know if he’s interested in men, and even if he is, why would he be interested in  _ me?” _ Hop says, taking a bite of the sandwich. It’s not bad – nothing fancy, but still tasty, and overall edible. 

“You guys haven’t had the sexuality-talk and you’re  _ literally _ married?” Raihan asks in disbelief.

“Shut up, Rai,” Lee rolls his eyes, turning back to Hop. “Just ask him if you don’t know.”

“That’s easy for you to say,” Hop mutters.

“You’re married, Hop. It can’t be that difficult,” Lee says, smiling at his little brother.

“Maybe we’re married, sure,” Hop says, taking a deep breath, “but it wasn’t a marriage of love. We’re just legally bonded – he doesn’t feel anything toward me.”

Leon shakes his head. “Sure, maybe it began as an omiai marriage – but that doesn’t mean there can’t be love.”

“It isn’t  _ love, _ ” Hop frowns. His heart tells the truth, however – faithfully reminding him of the way Victor makes him feel whenever he smiles.

“It isn’t,” Leon grins, looking him in the eye, “yet.”

* * *

When he returns home, Victor’s waiting for him on his bed.

“Hey,” Victor says. “I missed you.”

“Missed you too,” Hop smiles, his heart fluttering in his chest. Victor places his Switch to the side – turning to Hop with a half-smile on his face.

“Can I tell you something?” Victor stammers out. The change in atmosphere is sudden and awkward. Hop feels dread pool in his stomach. Has he been found out? Is his crush too obvious? So many things run through his mind that he nearly forgets to respond.

“Uh – yeah! Go ahead.”

“I – really need to get something off my chest.”

“What?”

“My boobs,” Victor laughs. “Can you help me schedule an appointment to get them off?”

Hop smiles.

“Of course.”

* * *

Hop has always been squeamish when it comes to surgery on people, so Victor thankfully spares him most of the details. The appointment comes quicker than they both expect – though that’s not necessarily a bad thing, Hop reminds himself. Victor seems elated when he returns home after the appointment, nearly glistening with glee.

“They said they can do peri on me,” Victor says with a silly grin. For some reason, Hop gets the urge to press kisses all over his cheeks.

“That’s great,” he says. “Did you schedule surgery?”

“Yep!” Victor grins, handing him the paper that details the following appointments. 

“I’ll take off so I can help you recover,” Hop says, looking over the documents. Victor looks surprised, so he rushes to explain. “I don’t want you opening a wound when I’m gone, and plus, moving around is gonna hurt.”

“You’ve done your research,” Victor murmurs as if he hadn’t expected it.

“I’d be a terrible husband if I didn’t provide for you,” Hop says.

Victor pulls him into a hug.

“I’m happy,” he whispers. “So happy.”

Hop’s heart sings with glee.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes raihan and leon are dating yes piers is also their boyfriend but hop doesn't know  
> anywaaaaay. time to go finish my fluff fics.


	3. in the light, you gleam

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> new chapter weeeeeee... sorry this took so long i just want to write angst... fluff is so difficult pls I'm sorry

Victor’s body feels like it’s been wrapped in multiple layers of cloud. Perhaps it’s the anesthesia – it definitely hasn’t worn off yet. He turns his neck to glance at the clock – it’s 5:54 in the afternoon, which means Hop should be coming to pick him up soon. He groans, closing his eyes. There’s still pressure on his chest due to the compression binder – but it’s much less than normal. In his mind, everything still makes sense: don’t shower until your next appointment, don’t do any heavy lifting, rest, take care of yourself. 

Somehow, though – even though this is all he’s ever dreamed of – Victor manages to feel like shit. He doesn’t regret the surgery at all – not a single bit. 

The drone of construction outside is increasingly annoying to Victor’s still sensitive ears. He wonders if they ever shut up – or why they have to do it right outside the hospital when he’s trying to relax and think. Frustration overwhelms him, and his hands are itching to play Animal Crossing – but at the moment, he can’t do anything at all. 

Can he ever really do anything?

Victor is twenty-six and unemployed – he doesn’t have passion or desire, and he definitely doesn’t have any financial independence. The past few years of his life were spent suffering in silence, with a complete lack of freedom. He recalls feeling ashamed that his parents had so much control over him – forcing him to drop out of college, taking away his electronic devices (that he paid for with his own money!) so that he couldn’t contact Bede and Marnie about his situation, and enrolling him in that shitty etiquette class for three years – he’s nearly cringing while thinking about it. Victor closes his eyes and lets his mind replay the memory of the day he met Hop.

_ “Your youth is finite,” his mother says. “That’s why we’ve organized a meeting with a man searching for a wife.” _

_ “What?” Victor says, appalled. “I have a job interview today!” _

He always loathed his parents’ nagging, but around that time, it became worse – so he promised his parents he would apply to that tailor’s shop. In no way was money tight for their family, but he was tired of being called useless. They were even on board with the idea – after all, experience in sewing would make him a superior housewife. 

_ “You won’t need a job once you marry him,” his mother smirks. “He’s interested in you. An opportunity like this is rare – hurry up and get dressed.” _

_ “Stop treating me like I’m an object,” Victor argues. “I want to marry someone who loves me – don’t you understand?” _

Victor remembers his mother’s expression – filled with pity and even hints of amusement. She laughs at him –  _ laughs _ – and the next thing she says shakes him to the core.

_ “You’re twenty-six, sweetheart – you’re already a year over your expiry date. Do you really think anyone could love you as you are?” _

In his head, her words are spinning – making him sick to his stomach.

_ “Women are like Christmas cakes, Vicky.” _

After the twenty-fifth day of December, an unsold Christmas cake will be thrown out – neglected and left untouched. She’d drilled that idea into his head – said that women are worthless after they turn twenty-six, told him no one wants him – while still being  _ completely _ aware that he wasn’t a woman nor did he want to be called a woman.

“Sorry I’m late, Victor!” 

He blinks twice. Hop is here now – Hop supports him. Hop is someone that Victor loves – someone Victor actually looks forward to seeing. He pulled Victor out of his shitty home life into a welcoming suburban home with a bunch of really cuddleable Wooloo and a cute non-romantic husband. Not just that – but he’s done that all for Victor, someone with no redeemable qualities – someone who doesn’t have anything to offer in return except for a verbal thank you. Victor doesn’t even deserve Hop’s kindness – Victor doesn’t deserve any of this.

He’s nothing special, yet Hop has given him everything. 

“Thank you,” Victor says. It’s the least he can do at the moment – Hop deserves so much more, but Victor doesn’t have anything to give him.

“I’m glad I could help,” Hop says, flashing that oh-so-bright smile of his – his teeth are so  _ perfect _ – and the way his genuine glee reaches his eyes makes Victor’s heart lurch.

And Hop chose to marry him – a virtual nobody. He gave up his chance to find another person – he gave up love for  _ Victor. _

“You’re amazing, you know,” Victor says. “I don’t know how I can thank you enough – I mean, like, you’re literally taking off work just to help me and you paid for my surgery and I just feel like I’m not worthy of your kindness but at the same time I’m super grateful –”

“You are more than worthy of my kindness,” Hop interrupts with a concerned frown. “Are you feeling down?”

Victor pauses, mulling over his question.

“Maybe a little. I could go for some ice cream,” he says – and there’s that brilliant smile again, pointed straight toward his heart. 

“I have mint chocolate chip ice cream in the freezer,” Hop suggests. Victor nods once – clamoring to his feet. 

“Let’s go home.”

* * *

Instead of wallowing in his memories, Victor hides them away when Hop is around. Although he wants to forget those days, there’s no erasing what’s penned in permanent marker – so Victor bears them like a crown only he can see, and Hop remains none the wiser. It’s not fair if Victor tries to rely on him even more than he already is – he doesn’t want to trouble Hop with his frustrations.

He doesn’t  _ want _ to make things difficult for Hop – but Hop keeps going out of his way to do things for him.

_ “You shouldn’t be doing things around the house,” the Hop in his memories says. “You need to rest.” _

_ “I’m fine,” Victor insists. _

_ “No,” Hop says sternly, stepping between Victor and the kitchen entrance. “You need to take care of yourself. I’ll cut you some fruit and you can go lay down.” _

Victor can’t be any more grateful for Hop’s kindness – but the man keeps testing his heart’s limits. To what extent can someone fall in love? Before, Victor would never have been able to answer that question – but he’s sure that the more time he spends with Hop, the better he’ll be able to quantify his feelings.

“I cut mangoes and bananas,” Hop calls from his bedroom’s entrance. “Hey, scoot over – you’re taking up the whole bed.”

Victor pouts, sitting up so that he can move closer to the wall. With a bowl of fruit in his hands, Hop settles flush against Victor’s right side. Two toothpicks are sticking out of pieces of mango – and with the scent invading his space, Victor suddenly realizes how hungry he is. Before he can reach up to take one in his hand, however, Hop picks up a piece with a toothpick and presses the cold fruit to Victor’s lips. Instinctively, Victor takes it into his mouth – and there’s that delectable flavor. 

Hop stares back at Victor, a dazed expression on his face as he watches his husband chew. Victor seems to enjoy being fed, and Hop’s eyes can’t help but linger on Victor’s shiny, soft lips. For some reason, he can feel his heart melt in his chest – it feels like his entire left side is on fire. It’s not healthy to feel this way for someone – but he can’t help it. Victor’s hair with that little swoopy part in front – his blushy cheeks, twinkly eyes – Hop loves it all.

Victor, however, feels as if he’s about to burst with guilt. In between bites of perfectly ripe mango, he does his best to not overthink their current situation – but with Hop’s gentle eyes meeting his, he can’t help but overflow.

“Why are you doing so much for me?” Victor asks when Hop stops to snack on a slice of banana. “I feel bad that I can’t do anything in return.”

“Because I want to help you,” Hop replies earnestly.

Victor’s feelings are beginning to show – and he loathes it. He loathes the lack of control he has – he seriously wishes he had more friends just to prepare for this moment. Insecurity leaks out of him like light from underneath a door – persistent and painful.

“But  _ why _ do you want to help me?” 

Hop freezes – can Victor see his crush? He didn’t think it was that obvious, but if he’s asking – then that must mean his feelings are laid out on the table for Victor to see.  _ Fuck. _ That’s really bad – terrible, actually – the last time someone called Hop out on his feelings, it hadn’t ended well for him. Then again, this is Victor – there’s no way he’d hate Hop for liking him – maybe just distance? Divorce?

Victor looks increasingly impatient with every passing second – and Hop realizes he needs to  _ reply. _ Nothing comes to mind, however – and Hop ends up wearing a nervous smile.

“I want to help you because I like you.”

Holy fuck, he’s a fool. Hop’s energy deflates as Victor gazes wide-eyed back at him – innocent eyes reading into his simplistic words. His confused face distorts into something so sad, but so gleeful as well – permeated with emotions that Hop can’t quite decipher.

“I’m happy,” Victor smiles, his eyes stinging with something unfamiliar. He feels like he’s about to sneeze – but with a deep inhale of anticipation, his eyes grow wet. Hop likes him – and even if it isn’t romantic, it still feels great. A friend – someone he can rely on.

“Shit – are you okay?” Hop says, his heart beginning to throb with concern. “Did I say something wrong?”

“No! I mean, I’m fine – just – I’m glad I have you,” Victor says. “Thank you for being my friend.”

Hop blinks away his own pain – the taste of rejection bitter on his tongue, clashing with the tropical flavor of mango and banana. Friends – right, they’re husband-friends, nothing more, nothing less. There’s nothing between them at all – just a legal bond and a sort of strange kinship.

“I’m here for you,” Hop says softly.

Victor rests his head on Hop’s shoulder, his eyes fluttering shut as tears roll down his cheeks. Between them, things stagnate – and just for a moment, everything feels okay.

* * *

“Hop, can you fish for me?” Victor asks while they’re laying sprawled out on Hop’s bed. They’ve been playing Animal Crossing daily for the past week while they’re both at home – and both of them have grown used to being next to each other. “I keep getting distracted and I can’t catch anything.”

“Shouldn’t you learn how to do it on your own?” Hop sighs in fake exasperation. 

“I don’t think I can,” Victor says cautiously, fiddling with the camera view.

“It’s fine,” Hop says, sitting up. “I’ll teach you.”

Victor takes that as an invitation to climb onto Hop’s lap, perching on Hop’s thighs with his back pressed to Hop’s chest. Hop’s too stunned to complain or question what he’s doing – his heart is slamming against his ribcage with such vigor that he’s afraid it’ll rupture his skin and Victor will feel it. With a slight tremble, Hop places his hands on top of Victor’s, guiding him to the nearest fish shadow. He stops to talk to Bob on the way – that purple cat has really been spoiled by Victor. 

“Okay, so I’ll turn the volume up,” Hop warns him. Victor nods once – and his hair tickles Hop’s neck slightly. Hop does his best to  _ not _ think about their current position, remembering the advice that Leon told him when he was younger about catching fish. “Close your eyes and listen to the fish nibble – and then when you hear the “plonk,” press A.”

Victor squeezes his eyes tight, and Hop can tell he’s nervous from the way his shoulders tense up ever so slightly. Yet somehow, deep inside the trenches of his soul, a nagging voice begins to call Victor  _ cute  _ – the way his cheeks flush red and his eyelashes flutter slightly as if he’s preparing for a kiss. Hop knows he isn’t – knows he shouldn’t even be thinking of Victor this way. Marriage, especially in their case, doesn’t equal consent – they’re merely friends. Although Hop does have feelings for his husband, Victor’s likely to feel nothing in return.

His heart thrashes like a Whiscash caught in a fishing net.

“Ah! I did it!” Victor cheers, unaware of how Hop’s heart flutters behind him. “Now I can do it on my own!”

Hop nearly regrets teaching him when he gets off Hop’s lap – but he’d much rather help Victor improve as a gamer instead of keeping his secret skills to himself. After all, seeing Victor’s lips curl upward in glee makes his sacrifice worth it – even if it means Hop won’t have an excuse for snatching Victor’s drift-free Switch and catching all the fish.

“Fuck! I lost it!”

_ Nevermind, _ Hop thinks, with a hint of guilty joy flickering in his chest.  _ He still needs more practice. _

* * *

_Moomoo Milk and vegetable stock,_ Hop recites internally. _Vinegar. Mangoes. Pineapple. Baby wipes for Victor because he can’t shower until his post-op appointment._ _That’s all, right?_ He’s not quite sure whether or not he’s bought everything they need at the grocery store – he seriously needs to pick up the habit of creating a written grocery list. Even using his phone to keep track of things would be better – but Hop can’t seem to form the habit. 

As he walks back to his house, he can’t help but notice new keychains on sale. Although Hop has never been one for collectibles, the sparkly Sobble encased in a glass sphere would be a perfect gift for Victor. Impulsively, he enters the store – rushing toward the cashier with a request already on his lips.

“Welcome! How can I help you?” she asks.

“Ah – may I purchase one of those Sobble keychains in the viewing window?” 

She pulls out a box of the merchandise out from below the counter, and before Hop can even register it, he’s bought Victor a present – one that he’ll definitely enjoy. Already, as he exits the store, he can feel his heart begin to twinkle as his mind races – how would Victor react?

Those hazel eyes would glisten with intense felicity as he scanned the shimmering Sobble – it would truly be a beautiful sight to see Victor smile once more. Maybe he’d even hug Hop out of happiness or surprise – wrap those lithe arms around his body in a snug embrace, comfortable and pleasant. 

He’d look up at Hop, with those glistening eyes of his, and roll forward onto the balls of his feet just to press his lips against Hop’s cheek –

_ Wait. No. That’s not right, _ Hop thinks, stopping himself before the fantasy can go even further. First of all, Victor probably doesn’t even  _ like _ him like that – and it’s not fair to him at all for Hop to think about him in such inappropriate ways. Second, daydreaming about Victor isn’t healthy – and it could potentially confuse Hop’s feelings – double bad. Third – even if Victor hypothetically likes him romantically – which he doesn’t – it doesn’t mean Hop can just imagine whatever the heck he wants. 

As the guilt starts clawing at the calmer parts of his psyche, Hop takes a step into his own room. He’d hardly even realized he’d returned home already. With his heart shuddering in his chest, Hop turns on the light. Victor is completely passed out on the bed – and the sight makes Hop even more regretful of his prior thoughts. 

At the end of the night, when Hop finally climbs into his own bed – his chest feels heavy with Victor’s presence next to him. Sure, they’ve slept next to each other before – but Hop has never imagined  _ kissing _ Victor before, either. It doesn’t quite make sense to Hop – why is he even thinking about Victor romantically? There’s not a specific reason for it, but Hop just keeps falling deeper and deeper into the pit that is his love for Victor.

He can’t help but fret over his own feelings – what if Victor finds out? What if Victor’s grossed out by living with him and they get a divorce and his parents bother them again? What if Victor’s in love with someone else while the two of them are married? What if Victor doesn’t want a romantic relationship between them – what will Hop do? Sure, he could just move on – but Victor is also his husband and he sees Victor every day so that would be kind of difficult –

_ Breathe. _

Hop takes a shaky breath, glad he can’t see how his body trembles in the darkness – thank Arceus that Victor isn’t awake to witness his catastrophizations. 

He hardly gets any shut-eye – and when he wakes up an hour late the next morning, he forgets to leave Victor a note explaining why he didn’t make any breakfast.

* * *

“I fucked up, he hates me,” Victor wails, shoving his teary face into Hop’s pillow. Surely, messing up Hop’s pillowcase won’t make anything any better – but Victor is  _ tired _ and  _ emotional _ and Hop  _ didn’t make him breakfast,  _ he must have done  _ something  _ wrong. Perhaps it’s the exhaustion talking, or his mother’s harsh words drilling into his sanity – but Victor needs to do something to apologize.

“If ya don’t know what ya did, just apologize and ask what ya did wrong,” Marnie suggests. “Write it down in a letter, though – he’s comin’ home late, right? You might not be awake then.”

“Right, thanks!” he responds, not realizing Marnie has already hung up.

Clambering to his feet, he begins to search Hop’s room for stationery to write his apology letter down on. There are papers with flora-lined borders and cute jewel stickers in the drawers – but Victor settles for one with Wooloo print.

_ I’m really worried that I’ve hurt you. Can we talk? Tell me what I’ve done wrong, and if it’s reasonable, I’ll fix it. _

Victor groans, falling backward onto Hop’s bed. Everything is so frustrating – and nothing really makes sense in the mornings, anyway.

It doesn’t take long for him to drift off, the letter clutched in his left hand.

* * *

“Wake up, sleepyhead,” a soft voice rings through the room. “I’m home. It was a half-day. I’m sorry that I didn’t make you breakfast. I overslept.”

Victor feels so exhausted – but with drowsy eyes, he stares back at Hop’s warm face. Every word feels too fond for his body to handle – and Victor feels his heart surging with affection for this man. 

“Uh, do you want lunch?” Hop asks him, holding up a brown paper bag. “I bought takeout?”

While his worries are fading away, Victor’s shame seeps into his core. He shouldn’t have assumed Hop was upset with him – he’s really turning into a mess as of late. Even if his mother didn’t feed him when she was upset with him, Hop would never do the same – Hop is kinder than that. It’s more likely that he would have just forgotten about making breakfast, or that he was in a rush – Victor should have thought about that instead.

“It’s vegan,” Hop adds, voice shaking.

_ He thinks I’m the one who’s mad, _ Victor’s mind supplies for him. It’s silly – such an odd misunderstanding between the two of them. A tiny giggle escapes Victor’s lips. “I’m not upset with you. I thought you were mad at me.”

“I – oh,” Hop says, blushing. “Sorry. Uh. Do you want to eat?”

“I want cuddles,” Victor pouts. His stomach betrays him with a low rumble – and Hop shakes his head, gesturing for Victor to get up so they can eat at the dinner table.

“Summer rolls,” Hop explains. “There’s sauce on the side.”

Victor doesn’t understand why his innards churn like he has the stomach flu whenever Hop smiles at him, but he can tell that the desire to kiss Hop has already been planted somewhere in his chest.

* * *

Wrapped around Hop’s arm, Victor smiles peacefully – and Hop can’t work up the courage to steal it back. With that angelic face of his, Victor exudes an aura that Hop doesn’t want to disturb – so he stays still, not shaking the other man off of him. 

Victor’s going on about how he wants to try eating more spicy foods after his appointment – and Hop can’t help but stare while watching Victor’s smile grow larger and larger. It fills his heart with something of longing – he wants to brush Victor’s hair aside and press kisses all over his face in an expression of love. Hop itches to act on his desires – but he doesn’t want to force Victor into anything he doesn’t want, and again, they’re not even in a relationship.

“You’re zoning out,” Victor notes, pinching Hop’s cheek. “What’s on your mind?”

“Ah – uh,” Hop stutters, rushing to say something that isn’t suspicious. “I bought you a keychain yesterday,” he says, reaching toward the nightstand behind him. After a bit of fumbling around, he finds the package and stuffs it into Victor’s hand.

“You didn’t have to buy me anything,” he nearly whines, pressing his cheek into Hop’s shoulder in embarrassment. Regardless, Victor opens the gift up – his smile growing even wider when his eyes land on the Sobble’s glass figure. “Thank you.”

“It’s really no big deal,” Hop says. He can feel his face heating up by the second – he hopes Victor isn’t keen enough to notice at such a late hour.

Instead of responding, Victor lightly holds Hop – making sure not to pull him too close for fear of disturbing his wrappings. It sends a sensation like being stabbed by a trillion tiny fishhooks down his spine – but it also fills his heart with so much warmth.

“Thank you.”

Hop is happy that they can stay like this – glad he has someone to make his life a little better. Somehow, they stumble through their days – and somehow, Victor keeps drawing him in more and more.

Hop just hopes they won’t lose each other because of love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> angst incoming <3


	4. thoughts run a marathon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw anxiety from the beginning of the chapter to the first break if you need to skip it. it's not a panic attack, more like catastrophization and spiraling to the degree of zoning out (which is something I've experienced). however, it is similar, and may induce anxiety attacks for those who also have RSD (rejection-sensitive dysphoria). read with caution.
> 
> to ensure this was as accurate as possible, i did extensive research on how to be an eboy. thanks for your patience, and without further ado, i hope you enjoy this chapter

Just by looking at Victor, Hop can tell that something is wrong. 

The first thing Hop notices is that Victor’s shoulders are tense and hunched up slightly. Sure, he’s still recovering from his top surgery – but at this stage, he should be in a lot less pain. Even from a distance, it’s clear that Victor’s eyes are bloodshot and glossy – and like oil on a pan, Hop’s senses begin to sizzle with unhealthy anticipation. The second thing he notices is Victor’s intense grip on his mobile phone – his fingers are wrapped so tightly around the object, but his hands are still trembling.

“What happened?” Hop asks. He has an inkling of what happened – probably a call gone wrong. Victor looks at him with eyes devoid of any joy – and Hop can practically feel the fear creep underneath his skin.

“Mom called. They want to come over for dinner,” Victor spits, voice bitter and tinged with frustration. 

Hop’s stomach drops.

“But if they see your surgery –”

“I  _ know _ ,” Victor snaps. His tone is so harsh that Hop startles backward a bit – and Victor’s glare falters. “Sorry. I just…”

“I get it,” Hop says, looking at him with those puppy-dog eyes.

Victor snorts. No matter how much Hop thinks he understands, thinks he “gets it” – he never really will. Sure, Hop is accepting and sweet and so darn  _ generous _ , and he’s the reason why Victor’s able to transition in the first place – but he doesn’t know what it’s like to feel uncomfortable in his own body. Sure, Victor’s body is still his – always has been, always will be. That’s the whole reason for these augmentations in the first place – to make him feel more like himself – to rid himself of dysphoria.

But Victor knows that if his parents see his flat chest and his short hair, they’d practically scream. Maybe even call for an annulment. Perhaps they’d disown him, accuse him of going behind his husband’s back, say some homophobic shit when they think neither he nor Hop are listening – and Victor  _ hates _ it. 

No – Victor’s terrified of it. 

Rejection. Being discarded like he hadn’t meant a single thing to the mother and father who he so dearly loved. Not being seen – being looked at, sure, but not acknowledged for who he truly is. His mother stands in front of him, scowls at him, tells him he’ll never be seen as her son – that disappointed lilt in her speaking voice. She turns her cheek whenever he tries to talk to her again. His father lashes out at him – fists flying toward his face in a bout of rage. Victor wants to run away, scramble backward – but he can’t move as his father screams obscenities until his ears ring and he can’t see through his own tears.

He’s pulled out of his own nightmare when he feels Hop’s arms draped around his shaking shoulders, gently stroking his head. Victor is kneeling on the floor, leaning into Hop’s embrace as the other man repeats questions that Victor can’t quite comprehend. It’s English, Victor knows he should understand it – he’s trying to – but the words don’t work inside of his mind. He’s breathing so hard that it feels as if his lungs might burst – but there’s not enough air – he can’t calm down –

“Victor.”

Hop’s worried whisper cuts through the white noise – like a verbal slap to the face. His name – his chosen name. It shakes him out of his stupor, and as the noise rings through his head, he feels his emotions fizzle away. Anxiety, regret, anger – all of it starts to fall away as Hop’s voice finally makes it through to him.

“Are you okay?” Hop asks, wiping away Victor’s tears with those calloused hands of his. “Do you need to talk about it?”

Victor doesn’t respond – he’s not sure if his words would even work if he tried. Instead, he pulls Hop closer to him. Victor’s chest rises and falls much quicker than Hop’s – but he doesn’t care if they’re not in sync right now. Victor just really needs –

Hop hugs him.

Bliss.

It’s as if he was never upset – as if he had been crying for no reason. All of those things are forgotten when Hop is right there. And Hop is  _ close. _ So close that Victor can see those chapped lips move ever so slightly as Hop begins to speak. So close that Victor could just lean forward and kiss him –

Wait, no. Victor doesn’t kiss people without their consent. Especially not after he’s just coming out of a panic attack. Sure, Hop is his husband, but they’ve never discussed kissing, and they’re not even romantically involved. Not that Victor wouldn’t be opposed to dating Hop – though typically he would date someone before marriage and not after it.

He supposes nothing about this relationship is typical, anyway.

After a few minutes spent cradled in Hop’s arms, Victor finally finds the courage to speak. The sentence doesn’t come easy, though – all breathy and disorganized and nonsensical.

“Sorry,” Victor croaks. “I just… I want to live up to their expectations sometimes, but I… can’t.”

“You are more than enough,” Hop murmurs, staring at Victor with a hint of immense sadness in his eyes. Victor can feel something in his bones begin to shift from just how  _ sincere _ Hop is – and as if his marrow is made out of misery rather than blood, Victor feels his whole existence shudder. Perhaps it’s because Victor loves Hop too much – because the words penetrate his core and make him feel like he actually  _ means _ something.

Victor has never felt like something before Hop.

“I don’t want them to come over,” Victor admits. “I don’t want them in my life anymore.”

“Then they aren’t invited,” Hop states. “If you don’t want them, then they shouldn’t be here, and that’s that.”

Victor knows they’ll probably come anyway. From the look on Hop’s face, it seems like he’s set on leaving them out of the picture.

“So what are we gonna do?” he asks. “I can’t just cut them off.”

“I mean, we could,” Hop says. “My brother went no-contact with my parents. We could try the same for yours.”

Victor blinks. “Brother?”

“Yeah. He was supposed to come to our wedding, but… well, he didn’t know it was happening. Didn’t even know I was seeing you,” Hop shrugs nonchalantly.

“You don’t really seem close with him,” Victor muses. “You never mentioned him before.”

Hop pauses. “I mean, I don’t talk to him much, but I still love him. When I do see him, it’s like nothing has changed. But he’s busy, so… I don’t really bother him unless it’s for advice. And, well… I guess there’s not really much to say about him, either. I mean, he models.”

“Models,” Victor repeats.

“Yeah… uh, he’s into that stuff. I used to model too, but… I don’t really need the cash anymore, you know?” Hop scratches the back of his head nervously. “Sorry, am I talking too much?”

“No,” Victor says with a twinkle in his eye, “you can keep talking.”

Arceus, is Victor trying to skewer Hop through the chest? It’s as if he’s completely unaware of how much his words affect Hop – as if Victor has no clue how much he affects Hop in general. That sly little grin, the swirl of his hair that makes his whole look seem effortless – he’s handsome, but he’s alluring, too – and it’s just so  _ unfair _ .

Obviously, Hop doesn’t say any of this out loud, changing the subject so he doesn’t spill all of his feelings onto the floor in front of the man he so desperately likes.

“Uh, so… going no-contact with your parents? How does that sound?”

“Oh! I mean… sounds good to me?” Victor says, furrowing his brow in thought. “What if they come over and won’t stop bothering us, though?”

“Good question,” Hop says. “We could find a new place if it becomes...  _ necessary _ .”

Before Victor can ask what Hop means, the other man speaks again.

“I’ll start looking tomorrow morning.”

* * *

Both Hop and Victor are well aware that Victor’s parents are absolutely unhinged, and not in a good way.

It isn’t as if Victor  _ told _ Hop about his mistreatment – though it’s not as if he’s hiding it, either. It’s just that Victor’s parents have always been overbearing to the point of actually crossing personal boundaries – and Hop  _ hates _ it when other people try to poke into his personal life. Victor suspects that’s why Hop doesn’t really speak to his parents – they did, after all, lie to him about celebrating his mother’s birthday and trick him into an omiai. Even if their meeting wasn’t a bad thing, and Victor wouldn’t trade it for the world, Hop’s parents are serial manipulators – which is definitely a bad thing.

Victor’s parents aren’t much different – the weird and creepy obsession with being included in every aspect of his life, the passive-aggressive messages, the extremely obvious manipulation and gaslighting – the only difference is that they’re much more invested. Hop’s been living on his own for a while now – but Victor is an only child who lived with them for 26 whole years. Either way, Victor slowly stops responding to them – though his parents seem pretty keen to keep in contact. 

Victor ignores them.

It takes a full month before Victor can turn his ringer back on, and after that, things are… surprisingly okay. They move on with their lives. For the most part, it’s just… normal. Victor stays home while he’s recovering from his surgery, and Hop’s work-life remains the same. Victor’s phone stops chiming every other hour, and he gets to watch as many baking videos as he wants without being interrupted, at least until he falls asleep. His parents stop trying to contact him as often – although their messages are increasingly concerning, it doesn’t seem as if they’re going to take any actions after being cut off so suddenly.

The separation is liberating, actually.

Victor wonders if there’s a proper way to express appreciation for Hop’s efforts to make everything better for him. 

* * *

Hop likes dough. The feel of its malleable form beneath his palms, the way it sticks to his palms. Sure, baking bread is oddly similar to chemistry – something-something it’s a science – whatever. Hop doesn’t care about that – all he cares about is the experience.

A cuttlefish scuttles across the kitchen counter, and that’s when Hop realizes that he’s underwater. Looking up, he can’t tell whether or not the waves are tumultuous – everything is still at the bottom of the sea. Hop glances back toward the ingredients – and a familiar face stares back at him on the other side of the counter.

“What are you doing?” Victor giggles playfully. “You’re a mess.”

He hadn’t noticed the flour all over his hands and apron – or the starfish trying to climb up his ankle. With one hard shake, he flings the starfish off – and it sinks back into the sand. He’s too busy trying not to embarrass himself in front of Victor that he doesn’t even question why the flour on him isn’t all gross and sticky. Or how they’re breathing, really – Hop doesn’t notice anything at all.

“Baking bread,” Hop says with a smile. Victor places his hand right on top of Hop’s – still embedded in the dough. His hand is warm and soft – and Victor beams up at him with the brightness of a thousand suns.

“Dough-pe,” Victor responds. Normally, Hop would scold him for such a terrible pun – but he’s too cute, and Hop can’t bring himself to chide him.

“I think you’re pretty dope yourself,” he giggles instead, throwing a pinch of flour at his husband. Somehow, the flour hits him and expands out like snow – and Victor looks so  _ angelic. _ “You’re beautiful.”

Shit – fuck – did he just say that?

Victor laughs and reaches toward Hop’s face, brushing his thumb across his cheek. 

And then Hop wakes up.

* * *

He supposes that he deserves to pine after Victor forever – at least that’s what his mind seems to think. The only person who actually stays by Hop’s side on their own volition is Victor. Without Victor, he wouldn’t even know friendship in his adult years – he would just have worked himself to the bone. Without Victor, his life is work, work, and nothing else – but when Victor’s there, his whole body begins to flutter with a love that he doesn’t understand.

Hop loves Victor so much that he can feel his heart yearn to beat in sync with Victor’s. Every word Victor speaks captivates him. Perhaps it is the timbre of his voice, smooth and warm, yet not frail – deep in layers but not in pitch. He seems to bring Hop’s feelings effortlessly, achingly alive. Hop can feel his heart pressing against his chest when Victor smiles – feels it swell when he coos to Hop in a sweet tone. Hop knows Victor does not love him. He does not care – he still loves Victor, and there’s nothing he can do to change that.

How pitiful can he be?

Well, he certainly feels a lot for Victor – after all, the man brings vibrance to his dreams and color to his drab and uninteresting home life. If Victor is the ocean, then Hop is the seaweed that floats at the surface – soggy and flimsy, subject to the winds and the storms. His heart is limp with despair – but yet Hop still loves Victor. Hop was over love, over trying to find a suitable partner – and then Victor waltzed in and made all of his worries fade away. It’s not as if Hop was searching for a relationship – but he met Victor anyway, and now his heart beats for Victor like that’s always been his purpose.

Underneath the starlight, Victor’s eyes seem to take on a golden hue. If Hop was more foolish, he’d think the night sky stretching far beyond him would be a sign. A perfect romance can’t exist in life – soulmates don’t exist. The stars won’t align for two people to find each other, or for two people to complete each other – because feelings are finite, and scientifically, soulmates could never exist. And like how even the brightest stars will fade out eventually, love will fizzle too.

Yet Victor’s still here – and Victor’s still looking back at him.

Maybe they don’t have to be soulmates to be in love. Maybe Hop just has to work up the courage to say the words. He’s spent so much time worrying about how his feelings will change that he hasn’t even considered his  _ present _ feelings – and right now, his heart screams that it loves Victor louder than ever.

Victor is his friend. But Victor’s not  _ just _ a friend to Hop – he’s someone that Hop would do almost anything for. He’s someone that Hop loves so deeply that he wants to  _ marry _ Victor – but this time with  _ feelings. _ He wants to take Victor’s hands while renewing their vows – he wants to bake pastries with Victor until his own hands go numb. He wants to kiss Victor – wants to make him smile, wants to erase every insecurity – wants to make things okay.

Perhaps Hop is a fool.

And perhaps, Hop is okay with that – okay with the infatuation that settles in his heart. Whether it’s fleeting or not – impermanent or indelible – his feelings are real because they make his heart race and his pulse soar and his brain scatter. They’re real because he thinks they are right now. Unconsciously, he draws in a deep breath, preparing himself. 

Slowly, surely, Hop reaches for Victor’s empty hand. The other man’s eyes can only stay trained on him for a few seconds before they flicker to the ground again – but Hop can tell Victor’s trying to make eye contact as best he can. The brunette gives Hop a small smile and Hop can feel his pulse jump.

Their hands meet – and Victor’s fingertips, despite the air being a little chilly, are warm like tea on a cold winter night.

“The stars are pretty tonight,” Hop says. “I… you look nice.”

He can’t tell if Victor’s cheeks are red from the temperature or not. Victor’s lips turn up with a small smile, and he says, “Thanks. You too.”

With a hum of acknowledgment, Hop turns away. Staring at Victor’s face too long is like looking straight into the sun. If Hop’s heart can’t even handle that, how is he supposed to tell Victor that he’s fallen in love with him? He supposes he needs a bit more time – and a bit more patience, too.

* * *

Victor’s gaze lingers over the fancy ballpoint pen that Hop adores so much. It lays on the researcher’s desk – and Victor thinks about writing with it. He thinks about picking it up – letting the tip glide over the paper with such elegance. Sure, his penmanship may not be as good as Hop’s anymore – not after he hasn’t done much with his hands for so long – but his handwriting is still legible, and it’s not like there’s any wrong way to write.

“Have you ever handwritten a poem, Bede?” he asks his friend over their group call one day. Hop is out of the house – it’s the tail-end of Victor’s recovery period, which means he has to go back to work. It’s not like Victor minds the empty rooms – but voices are certainly a good distraction from his impending loneliness, and even if it is just Bede and Marnie, they’re enough company to remind him that he’s alive.

And to water his flowers in Animal Crossing – but that’s another story altogether.

“I don’t see why you’d think I have the time for that,” Bede snarks, inciting a very-clear eye roll from a too-tired Marnie.

“C’mon, mate,” Marnie groans. “Yer such a bore. All ya do is sit around, tryna find the perfect flower arrangement or whatever – ya got so much time on yer hands that it’s honestly pathetic that ya don’t do anything other than play games.”

Bede frowns. “I may be an e-boy –”

“E-boy,” Victor snickers, cutting him off. Bede shoots him a glare before continuing.

“But I do other stuff, too. Plus, writing so much would give me a hand cramp and ruin my mani,” the other man sighs, seemingly put-off by the mere thought that his nail polish could chip.

“And I’m straight,” Marnie says sarcastically. “Arceus, he’s a wanker.”

While Bede sputters in bleak disagreement, Victor seems to actually mull over the idea – writing Hop a poem? Sure, he’s not exactly good at articulating himself – but the thought of it is nice. The target of his affections does seem to be...quite the subject, after all. When Victor thinks of Hop, he thinks of crimson-tinged mangoes and teal-green joycons – playing video games with sticky fingers and then being sure to sanitize it with wipes later on. The contrast of Hop’s purple hair and Victor’s yellow demeanor – he’s too much of a coward to just tell Hop about his crush even though they’re practically dating. He thinks of the Sobble keychain against the tangerine sky that signals Hop’s return home nowadays – and his heart is filled to the brim with unadulterated affection.

An unintelligible shout from Marnie’s end interrupts Victor from his thoughts.

“Shoot, I’m gonna go,” Marnie says. “As much as I’d like to stay, I’ve gotta help Piers with the orders. Bein’ assistant chocolatier is hard, ya know.”

“Then I guess I’ll leave too,” Bede says as Marnie’s camera flickers off first, her icon following. Victor nods in understanding, hanging up almost immediately – not because he wants to be alone, but because he’s aching for the idea of Hop all over again.

Sometimes Victor feels helpless – like he’s relying a bit too much on Hop. At the same time, Victor wants to cling to him – not because Hop is his everything, but because Victor actually… loves him. The weight sits heavy in his chest – but Victor doesn’t make a move to deny it. It’s there and he can’t do anything about it – feelings are feelings, even if they may not be something that he wants.

Not that Victor knows what he wants – or if he even wants anything in the first place. He’s gone through his whole life without a dream – he assumed that his entire existence would just be “pretend to be a girl and learn how to be a housewife until the day you inevitably die.” But Hop showed up and suddenly it wasn’t – suddenly Victor had a choice. He could transition, he could work, he could attend college or culinary school again – so many options that Victor hasn’t really known where to start. 

And Hop’s been… okay with that. He’s even helped Victor feel more comfortable with his own body – cutting his hair, making his food, helping him change – and Victor hasn’t even done anything to thank him. 

_ “You’re overthinking this,” _ Hop’s voice echoes through his head. Victor blinks once. And then twice, when he realizes that his vision is blurry. 

He misses Hop. Victor has never wanted to be around someone as much as he wants to be around Hop. He doesn’t think of his friends even half the amount of time he thinks of Hop – even while he roomed with Marnie back during his short stay in the college dorms and hung out with Bede for the vast majority of his breaks. For Victor, people are usually out of sight, out of mind – but Hop is different. Hop is always there – whether it’s the smell of that shampoo he uses or how Dubwool somehow manages to remind Victor of its trainer. The clothes he’s wearing, the person Victor currently is – Hop is part of him, and Victor  _ likes _ it. 

He likes Hop.

Victor wonders what Hop feels like to hold – to kiss, to taste. Would his lips taste like that tea he always brews? Would he let Victor run his hands through his hair? Hop is the type to smile into a kiss – to embrace Victor with such kindness that it tingles wherever Hop touches. Victor sometimes feels insecure about his body, even now – though it’s definitely better with the surgery. He wonders if Hop feels self-conscious about himself too – if he can do anything to alleviate those worries. If Hop shared everything with him, if he spoke of all of his troubles, Victor would most definitely do his best to console him.

Victor knows what it’s like to feel unloved – to feel lonely even among other people. But before Victor moved in, Hop didn’t even have other people around him at all. It must have been a different kind of lonely – perhaps dissatisfactory, or even peaceful. What Victor does know, however, is that Hop doesn’t deserve to feel unloved – not with how much he’s given Victor. 

Does Hop feel unloved?

Victor’s almost afraid of the answer. He doesn’t want Hop to be alone anymore – but more than that, he wants to be with Hop, to make Hop feel loved in return. Victor knows that their relationship isn’t some kind of exchange. Victor knows that he technically doesn’t have to do anything in return. But he  _ wants _ to – he wants to love Hop if he’ll allow it. He wants to remind Hop that he’s loved every day – whatever it takes. Whether that’s cuddles or poems, or when he gets a job, gifts – Victor wants to give it to Hop.

But right now, Victor is tired.

Glancing at the clock, it’s already three in the afternoon – prime time for a good nap before dinner. If he sleeps now, he’ll probably wake up to a smiling Hop, calling him over for a meal. The idea is pleasant – and he supposes that after so many thoughts running through his head all at once, he deserves at least a tiny break.

And so he sleeps.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> damn sorry for my ramblings about love haha! totally didn't take that shit straight from my journals. hope yall enjoyed the chapter??? sorry that it's so late, it's just that I've been having some Issues at home recently. luckily I'm pushing through! i hope everyone's doing well. thank you for reading so far and being patient with my updates!


	5. talking with your hands

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> content warning for this chapter: mild transphobia before the first cut and between the second and third cuts (so pt 1, pt 3).
> 
> really enjoyed writing this b/c it's kinda fluff-heavy, I hope y'all enjoy!

“Vicky, please respond to our calls," his mother's shrill voice comes through the receiver. "Your father really misses his adorable little girl-"

Victor slams down his mobile phone in a mix of bitter resentment and unsettling frustration. It's enough to dislodge the red phone case that protects it from damage, but luckily not enough to shatter the poor device. His mother's voice prattles on and on about how they're concerned for him, but Victor can hardly hear her above the blood rushing through his ears. He should never have listened to those voicemails – it only makes him feel angrier and angrier. 

They're always talking about _daughter this, daughter that_ – even though Victor is long out to his parents, even though Victor has told them time and time again that he wants to be referred to as a man. Spending time with Hop – with people that actually respect him enough as a person to refer to him properly – has made Victor realize that he's tired. Tired of being treated like someone he isn't – their so-called _daughter_ never existed. Tired of his parents refusing to respect his wishes. Tired of listening to their misogynistic rhetoric. And furthermore, Victor can't count the number of times he tolerated blatant transphobia and demeaning comments from his own parents.

He always forgave them then, under the guise that maybe, just _maybe,_ they would change one day – but they never did. 

Victor doesn't need people who won't even call him by the correct name half the time. The nickname "Vicky" might as well be as crappy as his deadname at this point – and to be quite frank, Victor isn't going to take any more of their shit. He gets to his feet, plucking the long-silent phone off the table. Unlocking it brings up his mother's contact.

He takes a single deep breath and blocks the number.

* * *

When Bede and Marnie bound into their little home on one Saturday afternoon, Victor knows he couldn't be any happier. He and Hop welcome them in enthusiastically, dragging them toward the living room where his Nintendo Switch lays docked. Bede practically pulls him into his lap like old times – as Marnie plops down on the floor next to them. Hop reluctantly takes a seat next to Victor and Bede – his gaze flitting over to the pair every few seconds.

The group settles in, taking out their Switches to play Animal Crossing with each other. Bede's curly hair is ticklish against Victor's bare neck. Victor can't help but pull away with a giggle after a few seconds – though Bede doesn’t seem to notice how his hair brushes against Victor’s bare skin. On the other hand, Hop notices everything – watches Victor’s face light up with glee as he makes small talk with Marnie, the hand resting on Victor’s hip bone as Bede tries to get into a more comfortable position underneath him, and how both of them act like this is just a normal activity.

But the most blatant thing isn’t how Bede and Victor’s friendship has a lot of skinship – it’s how Hop feels about seeing Victor content in someone else’s arms. Victor’s smile makes Hop’s heart flutter like always, but undertones of jealousy seem to play a part in the symphony of his emotions today. 

Hop really wants to cuddle with Victor. Not that he doesn’t want Bede to cuddle Victor, but Hop _also_ wants to cuddle Victor. Hop wants to wrap his arms around Victor and feel that he’s really there. He wants to be aware of Victor’s weight on his lap or next to him on the couch or bed. He wants to hold Victor, love him, even if those feelings aren’t returned – he wants to be the one to make Victor feel content.

And maybe, just a little bit, Hop wants Victor to himself.

As if on cue, Victor jumps out of Bede’s lap, climbing over him to get to Hop. His hands are shaking as he shows Hop the screen of his game, pointing to a large fish shadow in the ocean. The normally-blue sky is a dark grey, and in-game rain creates tiny ripples on the surface of the seawater. Hop knows what fish Victor is expecting – a coelacanth.

“Can you help me?” Victor asks. 

With a nod, Hop sets his own console to the side, turning the volume up on Victor’s Switch. He can feel both Bede and Marnie’s gazes burning holes in his skin – but he shakes it off and casts the line. It doesn’t take long for him to reel in the large fish, Victor watching with a large smile on his face.

“Thank you,” Victor says softly, giving Hop a gentle hug. His cheek brushes against Hop’s neck – but the contact only seems to kindle Hop’s nervousness.

He can see Bede staring at the two of them in disbelief over Victor’s shoulder – and he doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry at the blonde’s display of emotion.

“You know, Vic,” Bede says as the brunette pulls away, settling next to both Hop and Bede, “you could have just asked me for help.”

“But Hop always succeeds in catching fish! He never misses!” Victor exclaims, an almost-pout on his lips. He doesn’t have the heart to tell Victor that he only seems to keep his fishing streaks up when Victor is around. But as Bede mulls over Victor’s words, his face contorts into one of realization, and then amusement, meeting Hop’s eyes with a sly glint.

“Hit or miss. I guess they never miss, huh,” he replies. “You got a boyfriend, I bet he doesn’t kiss ya -”

“No, we are not doin’ this again!” Marnie screeches as she lunges forward, covering Bede’s mouth with both her hands. On her left hand, acrylic nails glisten in the lighting of the room – and Hop can’t help but wonder why her right middle and ring fingers are missing the same long, fake nails.

Bede makes a muffled noise that sounds like “mwah,” and Marnie starts to groan loudly, begging him to _please stop reciting old TikTok memes_ , whatever that means. But when Victor rolls his eyes and leans on Hop’s shoulder, he forgets about whatever the other two are doing. Hop stares at the love of his life as he rests on Hop’s shoulder.

As Victor lets out a contented sigh, only one thought runs through Hop’s head: _I want to spend the rest of my life with this man._

* * *

“Just ignore them,” Hop tells him while stroking his hair, “you owe them nothing.”

Victor hums. He hadn’t expected his mother to start calling him from a burner phone, but he supposes it’s not _too_ absurd of her to do such a thing. He’s not too bothered by it, but Hop seems quite concerned for his mental state – leading to their current situation. Victor doesn’t mind indulging in this side of Hop – he likes staring up at those worried golden eyes and feeling those gentle hands pet him until his whole world trembles.

“You’re sweet,” Victor sighs, brushing Hop’s cheek with one hand. “Thanks.” If Victor was anyone else, he’d think the blush that dusts Hop’s features was a product of his actions – but it can’t be, can it? He bites the inside of his cheek in thought, trying to meet Hop’s eyes.

“Just trying to remind you,” Hop mumbles, a small smile on his lips. 

Victor’s phone trills again, this time with a text message. Both of them groan in annoyance – and then turn to each other laughing. They’re on the same wavelength today, and it feels weird – though Victor will admit that he really enjoys it.

“You know what, I’m gonna check it,” Victor relents, reaching toward his phone. Hop’s about to argue, but Victor is too quick, snatching up the device with supersonic speed.

Victor’s heart nearly stops at the sight of the message.

_Your father is coming over to check on you – don’t do anything to upset him, okay?_

“Vic, is everything alright – oh, gosh, no,” Hop’s face falls when Victor flashes him the screen. “What do you wanna do?”

Even though he’s not completely sure what he wants to do, Victor knows that he doesn’t want to interact with his father. After so many years of hardship and suffering, Victor doesn’t want to be yelled at – and he doesn’t want his father to insult his appearance after he’s done so much to make himself finally happy in his own body. He gnaws on his lip as he thinks, slowly getting to his feet.

“I – I don’t want to see him anymore,” Victor admits, a little more than just panicked. His father has been terribly transphobic throughout the past few years, and Victor isn’t sure that his reaction to seeing Victor in such a different state would be a positive one. To his relief, Hop doesn’t ask him to elaborate – instead getting to his feet with a renewed vigor.

“We’ll pretend that we aren’t home,” Hop says decidedly, fierce eyes staring past Victor. “Let’s lock all the doors and turn off the lights.”

“What if he breaks in?” Victor asks, his breath hitching at the thought.

“We can hide in the bedroom closet,” Hop suggests.

Victor pauses. It’s not a terrible idea, but it’s not exactly a great one, either – their closet’s pretty cramped in terms of space, and Victor isn’t sure if it’s a reliable hiding place for two grown men. But Hop seems convinced that it’ll fix the problem – and Victor doesn’t particularly mind the thought of hiding in the closet, face pressed to Hop’s broad chest.

“Okay!” Victor agrees, maybe a little too enthusiastically. Hop raises his eyebrow, as if to question Victor’s change in mood – but he doesn’t comment on it any further. They scuttle around Hop’s home, turning off all of the downstairs lights and heading to Hop’s upstairs bedroom.

The first thing Victor realizes when Hop turns off the ceiling lamp is that it’s really, really, dark. Not in a bad way, of course – at least not when Hop is right there next to him. Victor remembers fearing the darkness as a child – thinking that monsters would inevitably come to get him via some otherworldly portal. But darkness is not scary – it is simply the absence of light; a sign that it may be time to rest. The streetlights illuminate the pavement outside with an orange hue, but the meager light that filters through their window isn’t enough to reveal anything more than Hop’s figure sitting next to his. Victor takes a deep breath, an unsteady one, and reaches out toward Hop’s empty hand, grasping it.

“Gah!” Hop squeaks, almost falling backward in shock. His hand squeezes around Victor’s, if only instinctual – and then relaxes as Hop realizes that Victor isn’t a threat. “Geez, you scared me for a second! Don’t grab my hand so suddenly,” he laughs, intertwining his fingers with Victor’s.

 _It feels nice,_ Victor realizes after a few moments of silence. Sure, they’re simply sitting and waiting for Victor’s father to come by so they can return to watching TV or playing Animal Crossing downstairs, but Victor actually _likes_ the quiet. He likes how Hop’s hand feels warm against his. He doesn’t worry that his hand is too sweaty, or that Hop’s judging him for being touchy-feely – he simply _enjoys_ it.

This – whatever their weird, uncertain relationship is – is nice. Victor likes it.

He’s about to express his realization when he’s distracted by the sound of a car door slamming – and his heart drops. Hop peers over his shoulder through the window curtain as they listen to the sound of asphalt crunching underneath shoes. When the noise suddenly halts, a new one begins abruptly – a loud _bangbangbang_ on their wooden front door. He hears a low, grainy voice scream something that sounds vaguely like his birth name – and he cringes. 

Hop quickly covers Victor’s ears as the shouting turns into obscenities and slurs. Even though he can still hear the words through Hop’s hands, their muffled state isn’t enough to pierce into Victor’s core. Victor’s eyes have adjusted enough to see Hop’s concerned expression staring right back at him – and in a way, it’s almost…

Endearing.

Victor murmurs out an “I’m fine” as Hop pulls him into a hug. Every sound outside of their room becomes inaudible as Victor’s head rests on top of Hop’s heart – and he can hear its frantic pounding as Hop does his best to tell him it’ll be alright.

He feels alright. Sure, his eyes burn and his soul aches, but as long as Hop is right there beside him, he knows he’ll be okay. The fabric of Hop’s shirt grows wet as tears begin to fall – and Victor realizes that he’s crying. Every time Victor’s body begins to shake, Hop pats him on the back – and somehow, his labored breath seems to mellow for just a little bit.

Victor closes his eyes and forgets not to drift off.

* * *

“So, we’re definitely moving,” Victor says, dumping their shared toiletries into a box. He’s lucky that the bottles don’t come uncapped and the shampoo doesn’t leak onto the cardboard. On the other hand, he can’t be bothered to treat their items any kinder – he’s exhausted out of his mind, and all he wants right now is a long nap. “We should have started packing earlier… but then again, I didn’t expect him to drop by for a visit.”

Hop hums nonchalantly as he vacuum seals Dubwool’s favorite toys. They squeak as the plastic shrinks up around them – and by the time he’s finished, the poor things are hardly recognizable. He shoves the bag to the side and looks up at Victor from the floor with an ashamed smile. “Sorry that I’m making you help me pack up. I feel pretty bad about it.”

“Mate, we’re literally married,” Victor laughs, resting his hands on his hips. “I’m not really _helping_ you – this is our job to do. Together.” Hop looks at him with wide eyes, his mouth slightly agape. The awkward silence between them lingers for far too long, so Victor clears his throat and turns away with another statement. “Plus, I was the one who wanted to move.”

“Yeah, but…” Hop bites his lip.

“Are you still worried about my chest?” Victor asks, tilting his head. The guilty look on Hop’s face says it all – but he looks way too concerned over something that’s healed already. “I’m fine. I’ll tell you if it hurts – and plus, I know my limits.”

Hop nods as if Victor’s response is satisfactory. “Alright. I’m glad you told me.”

Victor’s lips twitch upward into a smile. “So how’d you get a new place so quickly?”

“Leon’s very rich from capitalist stuff,” Hop shrugs. “I don’t know all the details, but he bought a house for us –”

“Wait, your brother _bought_ a house for you? For us?” Victor exclaims, eyebrows raised in surprise. “I don’t even _know him_ and he’s being nice.”

“Is that a big deal?”

Victor sighs once, resting his chin in his palm. “...I suppose not in Galar, but in other regions, housing can be pretty pricey. Especially in bigger cities.”

“We’ll be living in the suburbs, though,” Hop points out. “Though I suppose that’s still pretty expensive… it’s not like we’re living in Wyndon, you know? It’s bound to be cheaper there.”

“It’s still pretty amazing that your brother would do that for you,” Victor muses, “I guess that’s the power of siblings.”

“Ah, that’s right, you’re an only child,” Hop responds, stacking a few boxes. “What’s that like?”

“It can get lonely, sometimes,” Victor admits. “Maybe I shouldn’t have eaten my twin in the womb.”

“Well, it’s not like you can control that sort of thing,” Hop laughs. “I mean, I am glad that you weren’t eaten.”

Victor snorts, rolling his eyes. “What kind of statement is that?”

“I don’t know! I’m just – just glad you’re here.” Hop’s smile is like sunshine and flower fields, and Victor feels as if his heart has been stabbed multiple times by Cupid’s heavenly saber. Or something like that. Either way, he feels very lovesick – and it’s definitely Hop’s fault.

Victor covers his smile with one hand.

Hop is really, really cute.

* * *

“So, we might have a bit of a problem,” Hop says, sitting down next to Victor on their couch. With interested eyes, Victor looks up from his novel, ready to listen to whatever issue Hop has with their new home. He can hear the mover Machamp dragging furniture around in the background now – he sure hopes it has nothing to do with that.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, slipping a bookmark into the page he was on. 

Hop takes a deep breath, face contorting into a mixture of concern and… embarrassment? “There’s only one bedroom,” he replies, voice sounding strained. 

“How is that a problem? Aren’t we technically married?” Victor asks in amusement, a smile sneaking onto his features. “And, I mean… we still have two beds if you want to sleep separately –”

“No! I mean – I’m completely fine? We pretty much sleep in the same bed all the time anyway,” Hop says quickly, looking away from Victor with a near blush on his cheeks. “I… we are husbands after all…”

Oh. _Oh._ Victor feels his smile get wider, almost teasing at this point. He reaches for Hop’s hand, and this time, both of them make the move to interlace their fingers – sending pure bliss shooting through Victor’s face. Hop looks as if he’s about to faint from the contact – his forehead growing slick with sweat and his eyes glazing over as he stares at Victor.

“Is this… too much?” Victor asks, feeling suddenly self-conscious of their connection. Almost immediately, Hop squeezes Victor’s hand again, as if begging him to keep holding his hand. It consoles him enough that he’s sure he doesn’t need Hop to clarify his flustered state – but the other man tries anyway.

“I – don’t pull your hand away,” Hop stutters out, his blush getting deeper with each word. Victor’s heart hammers in his ears, and he can feel his pulse quicken in second-hand embarrassment – but he _actually likes the feeling._

“I won’t,” he insists, leaning slightly toward Hop’s face. If this situation is what he thinks it is – he might be able to tell Hop about his feelings after all this time. He opens his mouth to tell Hop about how he wants to take their relationship a little more seriously – but he can’t seem to find the words. He mulls over his method of confession for what seems like an eternity, and when he’s finally ready, he starts to speak. “You know, Hop, I consider you as one of my best friends, and I appreciate you so much. I have a lot of respect for how you’ve handled our situation, but more importantly, I really –”

Two Machamps burst into the living room carrying a table, shocking Victor out of his speech. With a loud cry, the Machamps place the item down right in front of the couple. Suddenly, the area is crowded with Machamps and various helper Pokemon, making the atmosphere too overwhelming for a voice to be heard above the bustling chaos. Instead of continuing on with his confession, Victor leans back into the couch with a sigh. He’ll just have to confess some other time, where they’re both less busy and less stressed. After all, Victor isn’t in a rush to get it out.

There’s only one issue with that.

Victor has never been one to think super far ahead of the present – which is probably why the sudden silence between them is so harsh on his psyche. Victor feels _so terrible_ for even bringing up the subject and not being able to finish it _._ Hop looks like a puppy who’s been teased with a treat one too many times – and Victor _wants_ to fix it even though he doesn’t know how to. Neither of them brings up Victor’s interrupted confession, but it’s obvious both are thinking about it.

Victor pokes at the so-called “cake noodles.” Unfortunately, the noodles aren’t made out of cake – they’re just clumped together in block form and doused in delicious salty sauce. He doesn’t know what’s in it, but he does know they taste delicious. He decides after a few bites that he’s going to stuff his mouth with them so he doesn’t have to make conversation. As he and Hop sit on the lawn together, not a single word is exchanged. Only the moon’s glorious, full light settles between them – and Victor is too nervous to start up small talk, anyway.

When they finish eating takeout together, the perplexing stillness between them remains. Victor doesn’t make a comment on it, and neither does Hop – and they settle into bed like two homies who aren’t gay. Instead of holding each other close, they press their backs against each other – and Victor is too afraid to ask for a hug, but too lonely to fall asleep.

It sucks.

\--

“Are you… alright?” Hop asks him the following morning over a cup of coffee and a store-bought pastry. Victor rubs sleep away from his eyes as he formulates a response, staring into the milky white coffee. If it was blacker and less creamy, Victor is sure he would see his eye bags reflected right back at him.

“It’s just difficult,” he says after a few moments. “I’m just not used to this place yet.”

Hop leans over, resting a hand on Victor’s shoulder. The sudden contact makes him involuntarily stiffen – and Hop flinches back, as if he’s afraid Victor will shatter. Their eyes meet for a single second before Hop tears his gaze away. “Sorry,” he says meekly. “I wish I knew how to help.”

Victor feels his chest wrench in frustration. If only he were better at words, if only he knew how to bring up the subject again – maybe Hop wouldn’t be feeling so guilty. He sighs, taking a long sip of his coffee. It’s bitter, but not to the point of being impalatable. “You’re doing great, Hop. Don’t worry about me.”

On the other hand, Hop can’t help but feel concerned for his crush. After being interrupted the other day, Victor seems… down. Or maybe it’s the same bed thing – is Hop making Victor uncomfortable unknowingly? He doesn’t want Victor to feel as if he’s not accepted here – he doesn’t want to fight with Victor. And he definitely doesn’t want Victor to get bored of him – or even worse, what if Victor is angry at him? If Hop hurt Victor, even inadvertently, then Victor might feel like he’s trapped with Hop – oh god, what if Victor hates him?

“I – I’m going to make a call to Leon,” Hop decides suddenly, cutting off his own train of thought. “And thank him.”

“Oh!” Victor’s face lights up as if suddenly remembering something. “I want to meet your brother.”

“Right now?” Hop asks, confused.

“No, like – eventually,” Victor clarifies. “He wasn’t at the wedding, but he’s an important part of your life. And since we’re gonna be together in the foreseeable future, I just thought it would be good to like… get to know each other?”

Hop grins. “I can ask him if he and Raihan are free to go out for dinner?”

“Raihan?”

“My brother’s boyfriend.”

“Ah,” Victor says. “Then it’ll be a double date.”

Hop can’t help but stare at Victor like he’s the most entrancing person in the world – because to Hop, he really is.

* * *

Victor tires of holding back his feelings after only a few days of awkward chatting and silly smiles. It’s in the middle of dinner on the second day in their new house that he realizes he wants to be more than just a convenient legal partner to Hop – he wants to be Hop’s life partner. Hop’s cared for him in a way that no one else has – and whether that’s out of love or something altruistic, Victor doesn’t care, because he knows he’s fallen.

But it seems like each time he tries to reach out, his words fall off.

The first time Victor tries to bring it up, they’re taking an intermission in the middle of watching _The Martian_ . The timing _feels_ right: they’re alone in their house, cuddling as they wait for their popcorn to finish popping. Victor finally works up the courage to bring up starting a serious relationship, and he takes a deep breath, tugging on Hop’s sleeve.

“Hop, I’ve been meaning to tell you that I really want–”

The microwave blares from the kitchen, and Hop gives him a smile. “Popcorn?”

Victor can feel his heart deflate. “Yeah! Popcorn,” he says, feeling a little bit miffed at himself as he watches Hop rush away with their bowl. It’s only after Hop returns that Victor realizes that confessing in the middle of a movie might mean they’ll have to put off watching the ending – so he shuts up a little while longer.

The second time certainly isn’t any better. They’d been folding laundry for the past fifteen minutes, and their conversation had gone from boring small talk to borderline bantering into “ _I’m pretty sure he’s flirting with me”_ territory. 

Victor’s _sure_ he has it down now, that all of the signals have pointed to their romantic involvement – but when Victor leans in to test his hypothesis, Hop squeezes his eyes shut. His face flushes red, his eyelashes flutter violently, and he’s almost trembling – and Victor feels _incredibly_ guilty for not asking before getting so close. As soon as he backs off, Hop runs off toward the bathroom.

Victor buries his face in his hands and groans.

“I misread it all, what the fuck do I do,” he whispers to himself, cheek pressed into the denim of his jeans.

And then he gets an idea.

* * *

Luckily, Hop doesn’t catch onto his plan in the slightest – instead helping Victor by taking a very well-timed bathroom break in the middle of their “double date” with Leon and Raihan. Obviously, as soon as Hop is out of earshot, Victor pounces.

“Give me your numbers,” he demands, handing his phone to the older men. Both stop eating to look at him in awe and confusion – and then turn to each other with a shrug as Raihan takes Victor’s phone into his gloved hands.

“Okay,” Leon says as Raihan’s fingers fly across the screen with extreme speed. He raises his glass of green tea to his lips before speaking again. “So what is this for?”

“I have a crush on your brother,” Victor deadpans. Leon spray-spits the tea back into his cup with a wheeze, coughing as Raihan pats him on the back with a cheeky smile. “Um, I know we’re married, but like – long story short, we’re just friends. And every time I try to confess, we get interrupted.”

“Go on,” Raihan says reassuringly as Leon wipes up whatever liquid has spilled onto the table.

“I’ve lived with him for a while, but I was just wondering if Hop has anything he likes in particular?” Victor asks, rubbing at the back of his neck. “I know he likes the Wooloo line and stuff, but I’m still not good at telling what he likes or dislikes…”

“So you want us to tell you what he likes so that you can seduce him with gifts,” Raihan snickers. Without allowing Victor to stutter out a denial, he continues. “Don’t worry, kid. We’ll help you get laid –”

“Rai, don’t say it like that,” Leon chuckles, rolling his eyes. “Hop likes dark chocolate with caramels, but he doesn’t like dark chocolate on its own. And he likes citrusy stuff – though you probably knew that already – and tart stuff. Wait, I’ll text you that so you don’t have to write it down.”

“I – thanks,” Victor says, surprised by Leon’s willingness to help him out. “I really like Hop, so do I have your approval to…” he trails off.

Leon shrugs and flashes him a glittering smile. “Hop’s his own person now – you have to ask him. But if you’re asking me if we’re cool, then yeah – I support whoever Hop chooses to see.”

Victor looks down at his meal, flushing red. “It’s not really like that yet – but thank you.”

“We’ll have a _champion_ time trying to set you up,” Raihan laughs – and it must be an inside joke between him and Leon, because Leon lets out a soft giggle and elbows Raihan with a “quiet, you.”

Hop returns to a table filled with blushing fools – and as he slides in next to Victor, he can’t help but wonder what’s going on. “What did I miss now?”

“Nothing really,” Raihan says, leaning on Leon’s shoulder. “Just chatting with Victor about his love life escapades.”

Hop quirks an eyebrow, but doesn’t question any further when he sees Victor’s face turning a beet red. Internally, Hop worries that Victor is getting romantically involved with someone – but if anything, that’s not a conversation for the dinner table.

“Well!” Victor says suddenly, in an attempt to change the subject. “I for one think that this unlimited cabbage tastes pretty great! What about you, Leon?”

His older brother has to stop scarfing down the finely sliced cabbage just to respond with an awkward nod. Hop shoots a glare at Raihan for bringing up such an awkward subject, but the man simply gives him a wink and turns back to his meal.

Victor, on the other hand, stays a flustered mess for the rest of the time they spend in the restaurant.

* * *

As Hop and Victor get ready for bed later that evening, Hop decides to revisit the conversation that took place earlier. “Were you uncomfortable with what Raihan said?” Hop asks Victor, making sure that curiosity doesn’t leak into his voice.

“No, not really,” Victor replies, brushing the tangles out of his bangs. “I just felt a little embarrassed.”

Hop watches from the doorway as Victor takes the pair of barber’s scissors resting on the bathroom sink and trims his hair. The brown tips of Victor’s hair falls into the trashcan situated between his knees. When he’s finally finished, he moves the plastic bin to the side, getting back onto his feet with a sigh.

Hop climbs into bed wordlessly, not sure if he should be concerned about the contents of Victor’s love life. Even if he does have a crush on Victor, Victor’s love life is technically not Hop’s business. Perhaps it’s best if Hop asks anyway – he does want a relationship with Victor. If Victor is already invested in another romance, then Hop won’t have a chance – so it’s best to actually talk about it.

When Victor leaps onto the bed from afar, sending the pillows and blankets flying, it’s enough to make Hop laugh in amusement. But it’s not enough to remove the thought of a relationship with Victor from his mind – now that it’s there, it’s going to be pretty hard to dislodge. 

“Victor,” he calls out. The brunette turns to him with a smile in his eyes – and Hop can feel his soul begin to tremor in anticipation. “I really want…” _to date you?_ Hop freezes. They’re married, so technically they can’t be dating – what should he say? “I really want… uh, to do this again.”

“‘This?’” Victor asks, making quotation marks with his fingers. “Like, eating out together?”

“Yeah,” Hop says. “We should eat out together more often. Just the two of us, I mean. If that’s okay with you –”

“Of course it’s okay with me!” Victor interrupts, grabbing Hop’s hands. “It’s more than okay!”

Laughing, Hop wraps his arms around Victor, pulling him into a hug. Victor presses his forehead into Hop’s shoulder with a contented sigh. Victor’s weight is somehow comforting to Hop – quelling whatever nerves he had from before. “You know, Vic,” he starts, “I really like spending time with you.”

“I know you do,” Victor murmurs into Hop’s shoulder. “I like this. A lot.”

“Hugging, you mean?” Hop asks. 

“Yeah,” he breathes. Victor can almost feel the tension in the atmosphere – but he smashes all of the want in his heart down, fighting the urge to confess with each passing second. “You can hug me whenever you want.”

Hop knows that the serotonin in his brain is definitely doing a lot of work today – especially with Victor so _close_ but so absurdly far at the same time. “I’m glad,” Hop manages. “Can we… Can we stay like this? Please?”

“Of course,” Victor whispers, pulling Hop even closer. 

If it was possible, Victor is sure that they’d both be connected magnetically – there’s something between them that makes them want to huddle closer and closer, protecting their unsullied love from the outside world. Hop’s breathing is more than enough to lull Victor to sleep for the first time in their new residence – but maybe, just maybe, his warm embrace plays a part in it, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: i refuse to deadname trans characters. i don't want my trans characters to have their deadnames broadcasted b/c i wouldn't want that for me. so please don't ask abt victor's deadname. i thought abt giving him one, and ofc he has one as a trans person, but i don't see the necessity of bringing it up or creating one. thank you and pls respect trans people <3
> 
> i hope everyone enjoyed this chapter as much as i did - i really found that writing this was kind of invigorating for me! again, i always appreciate support in any form. if you'd like to chat w/ me about ETA of next chapter or contact me abt any of my fics, I'm @ryuuseirune on twitter and tumblr!


	6. write our names

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two chapters in a day! wow i'm really churning them out. mostly because i AM HYPED FOR THIS FIC TO BE ENDING. i hope yall Enjoy Reading This

As he sits in front of his personal laptop, Victor checks his Notes app for the eighteenth time within an hour. Specifically, he rereads the list of flavors and foods Hop enjoys the most – reviewing each bullet point with the utmost diligence. Leon’s list, for the most part, matches up with Victor’s knowledge of Hop – but he still has to make sure that it’s not incorrect if he wants to satisfy Hop with a gift. 

Victor reviews the three Hop Facts that he can confirm as true once more, going over the patches in his memory that corroborate each statement. 

One: Hop is fond of Wooloo-themed items. Whether that’s clothing, stationery, or food, Hop adores his Dubwool – and Victor doesn’t blame him. Its fluffy coat is reminiscent of a warm hug on the coldest and loneliest nights – making it an amazing cuddle buddy. 

Two: Hop likes dark chocolate and caramel. This isn’t too far of a stretch, from what Victor knows: Hop doesn’t like things that are too sweet, and he does appear to prefer the chewy chocolates to the more solid ones – though Victor hadn’t known it was because of the caramel in the chewy chocolate bites. 

The third Hop Fact is the following: his love language comes in the form of gifts and acts of service. Victor remembers the Sobble keychain Hop bought him – remembers how Hop’s eyes glistened in excitement when presenting it to him. Victor also knows how far Hop is willing to go for those he cares about, and even how far he’ll go for strangers – he’d cut Victor’s hair, caught him multiple fish in Animal Crossing, and even given Victor his old clothes back then, and they’d only been  _ slightly  _ involved.

Victor yawns, turning back to his computer screen. He’s been composing an email to Marnie for a while now – but he’s still not sure whether or not he should send it. He hadn’t realized how difficult buying gifts for people could be before, but after deliberating for so long over a box of custom chocolates, he finally gets it. He wants his present for Hop to be perfect. Victor frets over his description for far too long – “a collection of chocolates, with a specially-made chocolate Wooloo” sounds a bit concise, but Marnie would probably call him up to explain anyway, wouldn’t she? He sighs and clicks the send button, watching the screen refresh.

It takes about twenty minutes for Marnie to dial him up – and by that time, Victor’s already panicking over whether or not to include a special message. 

“How big do you want the Wooloo?” Marnie asks him as soon as he picks up, sounding brighter than ever. “Do you want it like… as a chocolate design, or as a 3D Wooloo? The 3D one will be a lot more pricey.”

“I was thinking a three-dimensional Wooloo, yeah,” Victor clarifies. “For the size, like… the size of your chocolate eggs? Also, would my special message be placed inside the box? Should I hand-write it, or…?”

“Up to you,” Marnie responds. “Don’t think Piers really cares either way. Just mail me the note and I’ll put it with the box when we deliver it at his workplace. Also, like… wouldn’t it be better if you said it was from you instead of from an anonymous person?”

“What if he thinks it’s too extravagant, or he doesn’t like it?” Victor explains. “I just wanna test to see if what Lee told me was true – so he doesn’t need to know that it’s from me.”

“He’d probably be more willing to accept it if it were from his husband, I’d think,” Marnie says. “But I don’t know him too well, so if you’re set on it being anonymous…”

“I am,” Victor insists. “Thanks, Marnie.”

“You’re welcome,” she responds. Victor can hear whirring in the background of the call – probably a hand mixer.

“By the way, Marnie,” Victor starts. He can hear his friend sigh.

“Yeah?”

“You sound pretty different today,” Victor points out. “Is something up?”

“I have to be professional at the business,” Marnie explains, sounding a little tired. “I gotta go, Vic. Thanks for your order.”

She hangs up without another word, and Victor sets to writing his letter to Hop.

* * *

_ My dearest Hop, _

_ I’ve fallen in love with your bright eyes. Each and every one of your mannerisms is so wondrous to me. I find your voice so calming to listen to, and I can only pray that we may have the opportunity to spend more time with each other. I hope you enjoy this gift. _

_ From, _

_ An admirer _

Hop tears his eyes from the note in his hands to the box of chocolates resting on his work desk. The arrangement itself is adorable – a herd of Wooloo in a field of flowers, each Pokemon with a unique expression. 

“This is too cute to eat,” he says out loud. It’s enough to distract him from the question of who the box is from, but Sonia seems as if she’s not listening. “What do I do?” he asks. His boss turns to him in a huff, looking at him with exhausted eyes.

“Find out who sent it and confront them?” she suggests with a shrug. “Or like, ask them out?”

“Well, the only person I like is Victor,” Hop admits, bashfully looking down at the chocolates. Sonia groans, rolling her eyes.

“I hate married people,” she says, turning away.

“You have a wife?” Hop points out. “You and Nessa literally just got married –”

“Did I ask?” Sonia asks, shooting him a glare cold enough to shut him up.

Hop decides he’ll think more about the chocolates  _ after  _ work – and he definitely  _ won’t  _ talk to Sonia about it.

* * *

He returns home with the box in his hands and a feeling of concern in his stomach – what if Victor thinks he’s cheating? Wait – is being in a romantic relationship with someone while you’re married non-romantically considered cheating? He doesn’t have the time to answer these questions, for Victor is already waiting for him on the couch of their living room. Victor gestures him over, patting the seat next to him with excitement.

“So!” Victor says, pointing to the box of chocolates with a large smile. “What’s that?”

Hop hesitates for a bit, surprised that Victor isn’t angry. “Uh – it’s a gift from someone at work, I think,” he explains, settling down a bit. “I don’t know who it’s from, but it’s a really cute gift.” He takes off the top to show Victor the assortment of chocolates inside.

“Do you like it?” Victor asks, observing its contents. Only one of the chocolates seems to be missing – Hop has hardly eaten any of it.

“I do,” Hop admits, “though I’d probably like it even more if you let me feed you some.”

Victor feels his cheeks flush involuntarily as he watches Hop pick up one of the chocolates. Victor opens his mouth to argue, but Hop quickly presses the candy to Victor’s lips – silencing whatever thought was about to escape. He nibbles at the chocolate coating, letting its mild flavor dance across his tongue. The caramel inside is chewy, but not unbearably sticky – and the texture is just right. By the time he’s finished eating it, Hop is already holding another candy out to him.

“As much as I think these are delicious, I feel bad for eating your food,” Victor says quickly, keen not to eat his own gift for Hop. 

“I wanted to share with you,” Hop replies nonchalantly. “Don’t worry about it.”

Victor huffs, reaching for one of the Wooloo and holding it out toward Hop’s face. “Eat it,” he says. Hop looks at him as if he’s about to burst into laughter – but he doesn’t. Instead, Hop leans forward and takes the chocolate into his mouth while maintaining eye contact – and Victor is the one left giggling instead.

He watches as Hop pulls away, those tantalizing eyes catching the sunlight that surges through the blinds. Victor can’t help but notice that there’s a smudge of chocolate on Hop’s lips. Before he can register it, he’s already wiped the chocolate right off of Hop’s face with his thumb, which is now covered in a thin layer of melted chocolate.

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry,” Victor immediately apologizes, covering his mouth with his other hand in embarrassment. “I did not mean to do that.”

“It’s fine,” Hop replies with a smile. But Victor’s mind doesn’t care if Hop thinks it’s fine, especially not when it’s practically screaming  _ “oh my Arceus you idiot you just did a romantic thing to him and now he knows that you have feelings for him.” _

“No, it’s not,” Victor insists. “I am so sorry. Like. You don’t understand, I feel so embarrassed –”

“Victor –”

“I’m so ashamed of myself right now –”

“Victor –”

“I’m sorry you must be feeling so gross –”

“Victor, it’s  _ okay,” _ Hop insists, pinching both of Victor’s cheeks and pulling them. “Don’t feel bad about it. I don’t really mind at all.”

“Really?” he asks.

“Really,” Hop says.

Victor can’t stop staring at Hop’s lips now – and he’s pretty sure his whole hand is tingling from just touching it. Everything feels massively overwhelming – but as long as Hop seems fine with it, Victor does his best not to feel all fluttery about it. Instead, he mirrors Hop’s actions and takes another chocolate, popping it into his mouth as if it’ll soothe his nerves.

“This chocolate is really good,” Hop comments.

“Marnie made it,” Victor says. He only realizes he’s slipped up when Hop looks at him weirdly, and he quickly jumps to cover up his mistake. “She’s a chocolatier! She runs a store with her brother. I recognized the brand – Dark Embellishment, you know?” he says, pointing to the cover.

“Oh! I had no idea,” Hop says, surprised. “Tell her I said thanks, then. This is pretty good.”

“I will,” Victor says, looking down fondly at the box sitting in their laps.

As the two of them sit together, Hop starts to wonder if he should buy a box of chocolates for Victor, too.

* * *

The box of chocolates is custom-made.

Hop realizes this while browsing through the Dark Embellishment website. There’s no sign of a Wooloo-themed box anywhere – and from the looks of it, the order must have cost a ton of money. As he double-checks and triple-checks the website’s selection, his heart begins to sink.

Who would go through all that trouble for him?

First things first – his admirer knows that he likes dark chocolate. Either that or they made a really good guess about Hop’s taste in sweets – but Hop finds it highly unlikely that they would go to a shop that specializes in elegant dark chocolate artworks  _ and _ chose chocolates with caramel inside by  _ chance _ . Second, his admirer knows where he works – so it definitely can’t be Leon (and it’s not a prank). Third, it’s Wooloo-themed – and while it’s not like his adoration of the sheep Pokemon is secret, combined with everything else, it makes him  _ pretty _ sure that this isn’t a coincidence.

Hop’s admirer is someone close to him.

He glances at the note again, isolating each letter in his mind and trying to match the handwriting to any of his coworkers. The penmanship is so familiar – it  _ has  _ to be someone Hop knows, even if he can’t place it right now. He needs to make sure the admirer knows they should back off – but if he can’t figure out who it is, how can he tell them that he’s only interested in Victor?

Hop sighs and rises from his chair, walking to the bookshelf in their tiny office room. His high school yearbooks are lined up neatly on the third shelf – bless those mover Machamps – and he takes the last one out, flipping to the back page where all the autographs are supposed to be. Unfortunately, no matter whose handwriting he compares to the note’s gorgeous, loopy letters, none of them match up enough to be conclusive.

He files the yearbook back into its place and decides he’ll think about the note later. They’re in desperate need of more toilet paper – and the stores nearby open in an hour. He trots into their shared bedroom to check if Victor is up, peeking his head into the room. To his surprise, Victor is on the floor, limbs spread out like a starfish.

“Are you alright?” Hop asks. Victor groans and slowly stands up, using his elbow to aid himself to his feet. “I can always get the groceries on my own if you’re not feeling well.”

“I’m fine. I just was doing a stretch,” Victor says as he stretches upward. His back makes an audible crack. “I should be good to go now.”

The journey to the store is, for the most part, uneventful – mostly Hop watching the scenery fly by as Victor drives. He notices that their new neighborhood is a lot greener, with trees on almost every street corner – and that Victor seems to be a bit quieter than normal. When he pulls into a parking stall, Victor lets out an audible groan, clutching at his forehead.

“Shit,” Victor hisses. There’s a throbbing pain right behind his right eye all of a sudden – pounding at the inside of his skull angrily. “I think I’ve got a migraine, Hop.”

“I can go in on my own,” Hop offers. “What do you need?”

“Pads, Tylenol, animal crackers, vegetable broth, sugar-free gum –”

“Okay, wait,” Hop says, scrambling for his notepad and handing it to Victor. “Can you write it down?”

Victor scribbles down everything he needs and returns the paper to Hop. Victor almost feels bad that his handwriting is hardly legible, but Hop doesn’t seem to mind, simply exiting the vehicle with a rushed “take care” and a worried look.

He groans and climbs over the center console into the passenger’s seat.

* * *

When they return home, Hop makes sure that Victor is comfy and warm in bed. Victor curls up almost instantly, his eyes fluttering shut as he sinks into sleep. Hop finds Victor’s resting face borderline adorable, and he can’t help but run his hand through Victor’s silky-smooth hair. Victor hums contentedly, unconsciously nuzzling up into the touch as he rests. Hop smiles to himself as he pulls away – he really does think Victor is handsome. 

He walks back to the office room, sitting down with an exhausted groan. He takes out both the notepad and the handwritten letter from his jacket pocket, placing them onto the desk as he leans back into his chair, throwing his head back.

Then, he looks back at his desk and freezes.

While both items lay side-by-side, Hop realizes that his admirer’s handwriting appears oddly similar to Victor’s. Sure, Victor’s writing is messy in comparison, but the way both writers loop their e’s and draw their f’s is almost identical. The slant of their writing also remains the same – and the more he stares, the more everything clicks.

How Victor knew the brand. Why he wasn’t concerned about a homewrecker. Even asking if the gift made Hop happy – it all points to Victor being the sender of the box of chocolates. And Victor lives with him – of course it would make sense if Victor knew all of his fancies. 

Victor has been stringing him along this whole time.

Hop is… hurt, to say the least. Why would Victor pretend to be someone anonymous? Why would he pretend to have feelings for Hop? If he didn’t want to be with Hop as husbands anymore, then Victor should have just  _ told _ Hop – there was no reason to lead him on like this and assume a fake identity.

Before he even realizes that he’s crying, Hop is already crashing into their bedroom with an accusation on the tip of his tongue. “Victor!” he shouts, startling said man from sleep.

“Hop?” Victor rasps, rubbing at his eyes. “Is there something wrong?”

“Of course there’s something wrong!” Hop shouts, his tone bitter and his eyes wet with tears. “I don’t understand, Vic,” he says, showing Victor the grocery list and the note. “Why would you send me a box of chocolates pretending to be an admirer?” he laments, a sorrowful feeling settling in his stomach.

“What?” Victor asks, looking up at Hop.

“You’ve been messing with my heart this  _ whole _ month,” Hop chokes out, “with the almost-kisses, the cuddling – and now this? Why? To play with me?”

“Because I love you,” Victor replies, teary-eyed. “I love you so much, Hop. I didn’t send that to you out of malevolence – I wanted to check Leon’s information on your favorite sweets. I didn’t realize – I didn’t realize that I could hurt you that way,” he murmurs, shrinking into himself.

Hop’s face morphs from one of misery to one of stunned surprise. “Do you mean it?” he whispers, sinking to his knees so Victor doesn’t have to crane his neck to view him.

“‘Course I do,” Victor replies, taking Hop’s face in his hands. “I love you. I’ll say it as many times as you want me to. I just… I didn’t know you felt the same.”

“I love you so much,” Hop insists, resting his hand on Victor’s. “I just wasn’t sure whether or not you liked me back and – oh Arceus,” he says, taking in a deep breath. “I love you. So much.”

“I love you,” Victor echoes, wiping Hop’s tears. “I thought  _ you _ didn’t like  _ me _ back. I tried to confess and even kiss you a few times, but every time I did, you looked like you were gonna pass out.”

“We – we can try again now,” Hop suggests, a shy smile on his face.

Fondly, Victor guides Hop into a kiss. It isn’t perfect – it’s salty and shaky and they bump their noses twice while trying to do it – but it doesn’t need to be a scene straight out of a fairytale. 

Because they can always try again.

“Finally,” Hop whispers against Victor’s lips. “I’m so happy it’s you.”

“I love you,” Victor responds as they separate, blinking rapidly to clear away the tears. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Hop chokes. Victor can feel Hop’s tears landing on his cheeks at this point – the only reminder that this moment of theirs is real. “I know this is sudden, but… Can we – start seeing each other romantically?”

_ “Yes,” _ Victor practically screams, throwing his arms around Hop’s torso. “Of course, I’ve been wanting this for so long, I – yes,” he says. “Yes.”

For a few moments, they just stay there – Hop awkwardly positioned over Victor as they hold each other, sobbing. It takes a while for them to untangle themselves from each other – and instead of the dreadful silence that separated them before, the tranquil room now feels like a place where they’ve finally achieved inner peace.

Away from their parents, away from the worries of society, they simply lay by each other, exchanging kisses and smiles until they doze off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "what a happy ending," you say to yourself. suddenly, you feel a very bad feeling wash over you, and you scroll to the top of the page, only to realize that there is still one chapter left in this fanfic.  
> you can hear the author taunting you. worst of all, you can hear your brain taunting you. 'something very bad is going to happen in the last chapter,' your mind says.  
> "oh no," you say, "what if something bad happens? i should sub to this work so that when the next chapter comes out, i don't miss it."
> 
> a/n: on a serious note, i hope yall enjoyed this chapter of "cake" ! this fic has been really fun to write, and I'm a little sad that my first fluff (?) fic is ending. er... on a positive note, I'm starting to realize that multi-chapter works are really fun and allow for a whole lotta Thought. if you've kept up with this fic, thank you for your support!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok i lied... cute ending

The six other people in the room all seem to have their eyes focused on Victor. He adjusts his tie anxiously as he scans each of the familiar faces for any traces of judgment. Bede gives him a thumbs-up when they make eye-contact, and Marnie flashes him a small smile, mouthing “you can do it.” The encouragement is enough for Victor to turn back to his husband with a grin.

“Hop, I’m happy we met,” Victor starts. “When we first got married, I can say with one hundred percent confidence that the wedding ceremony made me extremely uncomfortable.” He can hear Sonia choke on her drink at that statement, but Victor clears his throat and continues. “I suppose that’s why we’re renewing our vows now – in a place where we love, surrounded by friends and… our real families.”

Hop squeezes his hand in response to that, and Victor can’t help the silly smile that creeps onto his features.

“At that time, I wasn’t aware I had feelings for you – but looking back now, everything seems so obvious,” Victor chuckles, looking down at their joined hands. “I adored you then, and I adore you now. You’ve always seen me for the man I am, even when I presented in a feminine manner – and even back then, when we hardly knew each other, you went out of your way to make sure that I was okay in the most uncomfortable situations. I find that each and every single one of your actions is endearing in its own way. When I wake up next to you in the mornings, I’m the happiest man in the world because you’re by my side.”

“That’s so cheesy,” Hop giggles, gazing into Victor’s eyes as if they’re the only ones in the room. “You know, when I first realized I was falling for you, I tried to stop myself. But eventually, I realized that loving you is a small sacrifice to pay for spending time with you every day – and it was something that I grew to welcome.”

Victor feels so elated that he can’t even meet Hop’s eyes, an embarrassed smile stretching across his face as he listens to his husband speak.

“You’re handsome from every angle,” Hop continues, “but more than that, your presence makes life way more interesting. Maybe that’s because I’m in love with you – but even when we have disagreements, I can’t find it in me to resent you for too long. Your creative energy and contagious smile are both incredibly adorable traits – I think everyone here can account for that – but most of all, I want to thank you for choosing to be by my side as my lover, not just my friend.”

“Hop…” Victor grins, pulling him down by the collar into an enthusiastic kiss. Sonia whistles as Raihan and Leon cheer, Bede audibly groans as Marnie giggles, and their wedding vows are renewed – it’s already an amazing day for the pair.

Victor wants it to stay like this forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im just glad its over......... no more cake fic.......... no more cake fic............... i am so incredibly drained
> 
> send me your hcs abt cake!hoptor at [my curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/ryuseirune)

**Author's Note:**

> please leave kudos/comment if you enjoyed this fic!! as always, check out my profile for similar works and i hope your day is well spent !


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